5 negative ways LIVING IN GERMANY changed me as an American

The bureaucracy must have annoyed every German on more than one occasion - but it is thanks in large part to the bureaucracy that the system works so much better for the people and the economy than in the USA. Germany is certainly not perfect, but nobody has to worry about the vital things. That is why such a large administrative apparatus is necessary. Without order and rules, everyone does what they want at the expense of others. That's why humanity in the USA is also going down steeply. The much-vaunted and boundless freedom in America is nothing more than the downfall of the country. It will be like always - the 5% of the elite will get richer and the remaining 95% will become more and more slaves. That's why I prefer order and sensible rules like in Germany.

Not being open to communicate with people... Sounds so familiar!! I'm also a foreigner here, I've been living here for very long time and I'm still the "foreigner" in Germany. I relate to your feelings so much...!

as a german living in the US for some 25 years now, i don't think germans are introverts at all. we are more self aware than americans, though. that is cultural, not bothering other people is important in germany. I know a lot of introverts here in the US, still easy going, easy to talk to, ready to party, but always aware of what is going on around them, and willing to trade a meaningless activity for reading a good book. I am aware that i live in a different country, but most people have no idea that i am german. They realize that i am not from the south, but just figure i am from somewhere else in the US. I don't feel like i am treated as a foreigner, but i am aware that i am. doesn't bother me, though, and people who know i am foreign, usually are excited. real extroverts are probably more comfortable in places like Italy or Spain. Still, i believe germans are quite open, but you need to get past the initial awkwardness. being foreign is interesting after all, especially in a "safe environment". There are places here in the US where people are not "openminded" at all.

So, let's that break down. Do you accuse germans, who are so polite to talk to you in english, which is not their native language, to make your english worse?

Wow... how about to learn german`?

And you feel treated like a foreigner? Well.... you are actually... What did you expect?

Here in Germany, we are not so superficial like you are over there.

Deal with it or just leave :)

"Once a foreigner - always a foreigner"? You said it yourself: "I always feel like a foreigner..". Don't you think it's just a state of mind for the most part? May I ask you where you feel at home ?
This is only the second video from you I've watched (the positive ways seemed more alluring to me to start with), so I don't know anything about you, why you moved to Germany, whether you live in a dmall village or a bigger city and so on. Yes, I would expect that you've had some less fortunate interactions with some of my fellow Germans. But please don't forget that there are morons everywhere and not all of the over 80 Mio of us are that way - at least I desparately hope so! Don't let the idiots or insensitive ones get to you. I'll admit that we're not as open and forward as North Americans are and it may take you a little more time to make friends here as opposed to the US. But still, I'd like to think it's more of a personality thing than a cultural one.
May I recommend another channel to you? Look up LifeinGermany. Jenna, a Canadian living in Germany for quite some years now, has lots of videos dealing with useful expat information and funny culture shocks she experienced since living here. And she has kept the kind of bubbly personality you may be missing in us Germans. Maybe watching her could lift your spirit a little?

Oh, and being a foreigner might not as bad as you think - just ask Lou Gramm 😉😁💛💛

My husband is German, and we’ve talked about this topic quite a bit. What we’ve come to find is that Germans outside of Germany are a lot more open, even the same person when they leave the country they can just open themselves up more. I think this stems in part from what you mentioned, the not wanting to bother people. Among other things. As you are a white male from a well-established country, and I am the same (female) here I think we are perceived well. Of course, location also has something to do with that. As you named Spain, I instantly feel it’s more like the home I grew up in. For the most part, I feel very welcomed hear by everyone, but there are still stark differences. In the end, in every country there is a mix of different types of people as you mentioned from your experience in the US. In the end, I’m thankful we live in a time where living globally is possible.

Thanks for your perspective! Very interesting.

It is strange for us Germans, when someone on the street says to you, I like your dress or wants to start a conversation.
This also surprised me when I was in America and strangers just approached me in the supermarket.
I had the feeling that I had to have a conversation with these people, but since my English was not very good at the time, I was always a little overwhelmed with the situation.
In Germany, you learn as a young child not to talk to strangers and just move on.
Our children live much, much freer than American children, and there's this "don't talk to strangers" very important to protect yourself as a child.
We have so many cultures in Germany, I think it's up to you to still feel like a foreigner after five years.
Yes, there are idiots in Germany but the rest don't label people as foreigners and locals.

Perhaps visit the Netherlands once. Almost everyone also speaks English.

bse victim ! :D bad simple english rulez the world...

The thing about always being a foreigner is real. I've spent an exchange semester in Germany and I can very vividly remember how german students never ever engaged themselves in group projects with us, even though our knowledge of german language was, well, really good, since we've studied linguistics.
We were always kinda on our own, we only gathered together with the other exchange students or our buddies. I really have no explanation for it, because I've always seen an opportunity to communicate with someone from another culture as a gift! Germans are truly weird.

Omg so true!!! I experience the things!

Public transportation, universal health care and a better education, better built houses, city, better city planning, solidarity, no, I prefer Germany or Europe. Also , stores and restaurants, official buildings are not light years away. I can walk there.

This thing, "once a foreigner, always a foreigner" I hear a lot from Latin Americans living in Germany, even after 20, 30, 40 years, and it's sad but true.
I left Germany almost 20 years ago, and I totally get why many Germans don't understand or deny this phenomenon. Without the in skin experience of being in a place where you will never totally belong, or a place where this doesn't happen, it's hard to see it. And no: An internship or a study year abroad is an entirely different story to being a migrant (or "expat", if you're from a posh country).
To my fellow Germans, I can only say: Listen to what people are telling you! It's not criticism, it's observation.

What’s negative on being an introvert? I like to think before i talk

For us europiens are American People strange and
We Dont conplain about it!!!!
We are saying THERE IS A DOOR, U CAN LIEVE WHEN EVER YOU WANT!!!
SEI GEGRÜẞT

Interesting… about this always feeling like a foreigner thing… sounds like you struggle with that… sorry for that. My thought was just…. Maybe naive but … in a way you ARE a foreigner and always will be since you are not born here and didn’t grow up here… the question is … why do you want to be seen and talked to as a german although you are obviously not?! Why not be who you are ? Why not be the American?(: god knows we could really use some of these bubbly people here to loosen up our stiffness.(; Anyway hope you find a way to embrace who you are (American) AND feel at HOME in germany and among germans. I think you think you will not feel at home till you don’t blend in like a german… I think it’s an illusion… you will feel at home when you embraced yourself! in this new home.

But maybe that is all theory and no good whatsoever…. Though I wonder how the germans would treat you if you say like: Hi … ja ich bin Amerikanerin 😅 gut erkannt… aber Deutschland ist mein zu Hause…
I’m sure this opens these well secured doors of these germans….❤
Wishing you all the best anyway
Greets
Anne

I know what you mean. I am German by birth and grew up over there till adult hod , but have lived most of my life in the US and still feel like a foreigner here. At my age I'll live here till the end of my days. You are still very young and it would be easier to pack up and go home for you. But perhaps getting all the financial perks in Germany can compensate for some other inconveniences.

I lived in Berlin for 15 years , Germany is a fantastic country , Berlin is an amazing city , I loved every moment , people work hard , play hard and are so friendly ..Berlin is clean and safe ,...I live back in the UK now . But Germany has so many beautiful place , a great holiday destination 👍 highly recommended. Police are fantastic ...
Cold winters , long hot summers ..tasty beer & good food ..👍👍👍👍👍🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

As a german that lived in the US 18 years I have to agree with you on some things but to some I have to give the advice - just go up the that person and tell her that you like her dress - you will run into several introverted dull germans who might ( will ) think: gee, what's wrong with her" but you will run into someone that is very happy to hear that. So that one already was worth it.
On another note I NEED to say - with what the US has turned into, I would not want to hang dead over a fence there. I used to LOVE it there, but now I 100% will not set a foot into a country in which in way toooooooo many states a raped 10 year old is prohibited to get an abortion, I MUST question the sanity of bible peddling racists that care not about how many kids are shot and killed in their schools because they think a war style assault WEAPON is what everybody needs to be allowed to buy 🙄🙄🙄
With all the short comings we certainly have here in Germany, this is still a lot more sane place to live.
And that is in no way meant to criticise you at all. So, be you, be outgoing, don't loose that or give up on that - you find certainly people that love and enjoy that.
Hope you have a great time here for as long as it lasts 🙋‍♂️

i fail to see the negative point on becoming less than extremely extroverted.
a bit more moderation sounds positive to me

you can become a foreigner by moving from one region to another within germany. the dialect, some social norms, the openness/directness are quite different depending on where you live

Ihre Frisur hat sich auch nicht zum Besten entwickelt. ... Wenn man aus einer anderen Gegend herangezogen ist, bleibt man auch immer ein bisschen "der Fremde". Aber ist das denn so schlimm? Dafür kann man interessante Geschichten aus seiner Heimat erzählen und ungleich behandelt fühle ich mich auch nicht.

Definitely don’t go to Germany if you are business minded and flexible:
1. Any crafts trade requires a master‘s degree before you are allowed to work independently. and you will be a compulsory member of the chambers- by law.
2. The chimney sweeper has powers to disable your heating if he finds it doesn’t meet one of the many requirements. Don’t ever think of building your own wood burner- it needs state approval!
3. The default way of working in Germany is to be employed. Lawmakers usually have in mind the abilities of companies and corporations when they create new laws, so sole traders etc. don’t stand a chance.
If you are self-employed, the assumption is: you must be rich since you can afford it.
4. Expect about 1/3 of your income to go to the state- at least.
5. Your house will never really be your own: The state rules even into your private rooms. Just look at the debate about compulsory modernisation (EU) or the ban of oil or gas burners (although they‘d happily use non-fossil biogas or used vegoil from waste). Your welcome to pay but the state tells you what to do!

All these any many other aspects are the reasons for Germans being narrow minded but simultaneously they are also a consequence of it.

ich 44 jahre alter deutscher von geburt an kann nur zustimmen. es ist schwer geworden mit zwischenmenschlichen beziehungen. habe das gefühl das alle verrückt geworden sind gespräche mit anderen fühlen sich so an als wenn ich mit außerirdischen rede. muss mir zweimal überlegen welche themen ich anspreche meinem gesprächspaartner gegenüber.
translation:
I 44 years old German from birth can only agree. It has become difficult with interpersonal relationships. Have the feeling that everyone has gone crazy Conversations with others feel like I'm talking to aliens. I have to think twice about which topics I address to my conversation couple.

Your English is getting worse because of exposure to the original native speakers?? You surely meant to say 'better!?'

ich denke das Gefühl ein Fremder zu sein kommt auch daher das wir deutschen dazu neigen jedem Fremden dem wir begegnen mit einer gewissen Distanz zu begegnen und das hat gar nicht damit zu tun wo die Person herkommt sondern einfach erst einmal daher das wir die Person nicht kennen :)

Hi Stacey, yes being a foreigner? You will always be asked, "Where are you from"? "I can hear an accent". "Are you from the Netherlands"? That is what I hear, although I'm British. So with you american accent and rolling "R"s, you will always be an American. And yes, you will be treated better that other foreigners too, well noted. But what about the other way around? Are foreigners in the UK or the USA treated the same, no matter where they come from? I find it much worse when people ask how I could leave England, it's soooo wonderful there. Well yes there are lots of nice places in the UK, but no every person has the chance to live outside big run down cities with few prospects!!! I still answer that I'm english though, even though I've had duell nationality for more than ten years. Then I add, Oh, I forgot I'm German too now. My pooor (german) children have to justify their english surname.

do some research on the validity of the Myers-Briggs test/background, it's a total hoax ....

I had the blues in the US. It is the same vice versa 😉

I really payed attention to politics in Germany for last several years. I was quite shocked and very disappointed, seems like Germany will let themselves be dictated by russia, China ect. It was very well frightening. I always thought of Germans are the leaders of Europe quite shocked on their attitude. I'm am an American so ok yes we have biggest miltary ect spend the most and can be very bossy. I found the attitudes of German government very , lets not get involved very passive . USA definitely has alot of problems here , I totally get it . Definitely not what I expected from Germany. I found Scholtz very very unstable w desion making , about as bad as Trump ,but the opposite direction.

Stacy, I worked very intensive with English-men for 2 years and destroyed parts of my German in that process because my emerging too much. so don't think about your English. Even my aunt who lives 40+ years in italy is now struggling with German more and let me say it this way: It is funny when she starts to speak, because the Grammer is total out of the window. ;)
and regarding "i am not part of the Germans" - perhaps seek for a "Verein". This is mostly on the countryside and southern parts of Germany important to be part of the community. It sucks but you need to take action. And with a little effort you will be simply part of the community, but it will need some time. You know - Germans need some time to warm-up to others ;) wish you luck.

I lived for 16 year in the USA and be back for 10 years, and I love to back here, and I think in Germany I have so much freedom, what I didn't had in the USA and really, I destroyed my health in the USA and it get fixed here. For me living in the USA was so much more expensive than in Germany. The negative point are the refugees and the war in the Ukraine, and that Germany must pay for everything, but I think the problems what's going on right now is global issue. The other part is, I still read English books or listen to them, but I don't speak anymore so fluent English as I did.

Being a foreigner isn't such a disadvantage. I've been here 50 years and at the beginning, they asked "Why did you come *here*?" It was and still is food for conversation. If women are around I tell them that the women are more beautiful. If only men I tell them the food is better. And that the women are nice too. Perhaps if you were quite sociable and active with friends and acquaintances in the States then in Germany you`ll experience a change. However, if you were a wallflower everywhere you went, then this place is a like a garden blooming in the spring.

1) Yes, it's kind of funny. We as Germans sometimes speak or write funny English, because we don't rebuild the sentences but translate them 1:1. Sounds funny, but that's how it is.
2) It probably comes from a mixture of a desire for privacy and distrust in general. There are a lot of people who don't like to be addressed so offensively. Real friendships (which are not only superficial) need their time. Some know each other from kindergarten, which means for decades. A good tip might be sports clubs or loosely-knit communities like jogging meet-ups or depending on what hobbies you like to do.
3) Yes, life is already very organized here. But that starts at a young age. Most people come to terms with it. Maybe you have to see it in another perspective: if everyone knows and respects the rules, then it runs (in theory at least) a bit more effectively. Some rules and laws have good backgrounds that you don't immediately suspect. On the other hand, there are also rules that are really not understandable for Germans. In the end, the bureaucracy increases more and more, also because of the EU.
4) Many people feel the same way.
5) It's the same for us Germans. Whoever moves from the northern or central region to the complete south will always remain a foreigner. You will never be able to integrate properly. It's all very compressed as far as the regions are concerned. 100 km between two cities or regions can make quite a difference. Language and food culture and so on. In the cities, the connection is certainly easier, because there are also several nations to be found. As towns and villages get smaller, the residents are also more idiosyncratic. The best way to break the ice is to take the first step and reveal something about yourself without being too proud of it.
5b.) English certainly reaches many people, but the older generation, especially in the east of Germany, used to learn only Russian as a second language. You can still "experience" the history of reunification with it today. You should also have that somewhat in the background, if some people do not get along in English.

I am pretty shure: you are not living in West-Germany. And you finaly arrived :-)

being introverted is not a bad thing. it's just different.

the blues: just fight it! Do activities with other people, travel to sunny places during the winter... especially the canary islands: summer weather almost all year around and as a part of spain travelling there from Germany is about as difficult and beaurocratic as visiting Paris or the Italian coastline or a greek island. The language is spanish and they pay with Euros. Flights are affordable.

Funny. I know expats from US who keep judging things they see here in comparison to the States. In a mostly nice way, but distanced. Others act completely "being here", so they are, so they feel.

💞 "Promo SM"

Your problems are quite normal, nothing outstanding, you should not be afraid to loose your English-ability, all that will come back to you when you speak English with other English-mother-tongue-speakers, to be more introverted is a result of beeing more and more German-like, while living between Germans, the same effect will happen to Germans living inside USA, the blues is also normal for people who changed there region of "feeling home", that can happen even if you change not the country, but the region inside a country, that comes along with the feeling "not at home" and that led straight to your last problem, feeling as a stranger, but, what you expect: You ARE a stranger in Germany like I would be a stranger inside USA or any other country in the world.
Your problems will go away with the time, you can accelerate that process, if you find new friends, join a "Verein", a club, Germany has so many of them for a lot of reasons, you like to cook? Join a cooking club, you like to .... whatever, there will be a club for it, I am sure, or make friends in the neighborship or visit the relatives of your husbands family, or look for a small job, come out of your personal snail-house and join live.

Introverted vs. Extroverted is about how you recharge your energy. Not about how you act out and about. Do you need alonetime to recharge? = introvert.

rubbish. i really appreciate you as a person you are gorgeous. but losing the language is not while living here in germany but getting out of practise. one example: i live and learn my five languages i've learned in detail. even though i was not in the states since 7 years, my english is as good as my spanish, french, german, of course. etc.

Some of your points have simply to do with getting older. That's nothing special.

As a Norwegian having English as a second language, I find that speaking English with non-native speakers really degrades my own English. It's so incredibly annoying. I used to be a lot together with quite a number of native speakers, but that ended. None these days. I'm back to having a revealing accent.

No, it's pure logic.

hi, great video!
Nr 4. is called Homesickness

People confuse reversed and exclusionary with introverted. Germans are extremely extroverted. They just mix with narrow group they want to, often determined by race and ethnicity.

Könnt ihr amerikaner mal aufhören bei uns zu leben aber alles zu kritisieren geht doch zurück wir wollen euch nicht

If you don’t like it go back to the US since Trump I am not a fan of the US anymore your a ignorant country