Why The Premier League NEEDS Relegation Playoffs…

On this week’s episode of That Peter Crouch Podcast, Crouchy, Chris, and Sids kick back with a glass of cognac as they dive into some of your listener messages.

From awkward handshakes and cultural greeting rituals to the ultimate pub chat: could a relegation playoff transform the Premier League? The lads unpack a genius listener suggestion for turning end-of-season misery into box office gold.

They also spotlight a football league where weight loss adds goals, discuss the tragicomic reality of football freestyle stars not making it pro, and weigh in on Arsenal’s growing rep for “Spursiness.” There’s a heartfelt moment too, as a listener shares how Chris’s cancer story helped during his own diagnosis—reminding everyone to check their balls.

With a powerful mix of humour, nostalgia, and top-tier pub debate, this is a classic “messages” episode—and maybe the start of a Premier League revolution.

Chumbawamba

00:00 – Cognac-fuelled kickoff
00:04:34 – Meeting Harry Redknapp & the evolution of the handshake
00:10:27 – Listener Jack invents relegation playoffs
00:14:16 – “Walk past a mirror of shame” – brutal ideas for playoff losers
00:22:18 – Weight loss football leagues: genius motivation and brilliant team names
00:25:00 – “Ballers” vs real footballers: the truth behind freestyle stars not making it pro
00:29:10 – Peter and Sids’ unplayable 5-a-side legends
00:32:35 – Joe Taylor: the non-league striker outscoring Haaland
00:35:56 – Are Arsenal more Spursy than Spurs?
00:39:00 – The All or Nothing curse: how documentaries changed Arsenal's rep
00:40:13 – Listener’s cancer diagnosis inspired by Chris Stark’s story
00:51:00 – The Sandwich XI
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