Understanding Covert Narcissism - Essential Information You Need To Know

I got some neighbours like this

They cant bear not being the center of attention in a group setting.If the attention is on another group member they will try to shift the conversation back on themselves(just like overt narcs but less obvious) again in ways that dont even relate to the other persons content,like nobody is even there but themselves!

I noticed in my interactions with a person that they combine traits of avoidant-fearful personality and covert narcissism. Is there anything in science that indicates this or explains it?

My gosh, this describes the "man-child" I dated to a 'T' 😮

The victim card is a big red flag to watch out for ..

Second listen. You are very understanding...of their interior and damages they are capable of. Only when no one is looking right. Covert, everything...underhanded

The part about trolling online and social justice warrior obsession is PROFOUND. Wow!

Covert, virtue signaling, victim, narcissistic mother. Just figured it out a few years ago and it HURTS. But not as much as her confusing cruelty wrapped up in “nobility”. Recovering now. ❤

Unknowingly questioning/criticizing my partner in a way they couldn't tolerate turned an amazing marriage into them systematically destroying me behind the scenes in the most masterful way. I have nothing left... Not even my self-esteem. Being with someone who TRULY suffers from this disorder is a death sentence.

It's cute he asked for 2k likes and now he has 20k!! 🎉

I think I have those problems you speak about, ie I am shy, probably neurotic but I dont blame anyone but myself for all of it.

Thanks mate you are an absolute genius and you are and have helped so many people. If there really is a heaven I'd expect to see you there.

I have watched hundred of videos about narcissism and this one has been my best. Thank you for making such a informative video. You have a new subscriber.

Thankyou very much .A Dr I knew made me feel uncomfortable for years, I just thought they were a little eccentric. Their actions eventually crossed my boundaries -they knowingly crossed boundaries. I bought this to their attention expecting the problem solving conversation', their response was to express hurt feelings. The next time I saw them they had carefully created a tableau where I constantly felt off balance, . At times they sounded like a petulant 5 year old.
I will have to see them again -not as a doctor.
Whilst their actions were inexcusable and horribly uncomfortable, I now realise that Pity has overcome any residual feelings of anger I felt towards them. My primary goal for further interactions with them is purely polite salutations and to use my ability to walk away.
Thank you again

The covert narcissist is the most dangerous.

The covert narcissist loves to hide behind church and Christianity. They usually don’t have many friends if any at all and I definitely do get joy from seeing other people getting hurt.

Schadenfreude!!! My mothertongue❤

Does anyone else tell them their a covert narc? Cause i do

This is very helpful and true to my experience with covert narcissists. Wish I had figured it out sooner. You have gained a subscriber. These type videos empower me. Thank you!😄

This is one of the biggest mistakes I find when people label others as Narcissists. Just because a person feels they should have a better station in life does not make them a narc for in many cases this is actually true. Society itself can hold some very capable people back in their lives and with that comes resentment. It all comes down to your initial station in life and access to oppotunity. We are all products of our environment and some really do have a disadvantage or advantage coming out of the gate.
So in reality, in many circumstances, you are talking about people who hold onto envy and resentment as opposed to actually being Narcissists. This is by no means a false sense of gradeur but actually an unfulfilled or untapped resource gone to waste which is very common. Not everyone has the same opportunity even though you like to make it seem as if this is the case.
It's this type of false diagnoses that feeds the fuel of resentment that may just come back to bite you in the _ _ _ when falsely labelling someone with this type of condition. So yes, be careful when making such claims about others simply because their behavior did not meet your standards.
NPD is a disorder and not as common as people are being led to believe. This is one of the main conditions present in most psychopaths or sociopaths in our society.

Thank you for sharing this topic in such an informative, educational and interesting way, I am learning so much about myself and my long term experience with a narcissist… there are so many takeaways from your videos

This is the best explanation I have seen yet. The 4 domains are very helpful.

I worked with one who was so hypersensitive to criticism that she twisted everything to become a criticism. This conditioned me to speak less in her presence, and she then viewed that as me hating or excluding her. So then I kept everything bland, and was labelled "boring". She was very manipulative, and I think that her hypersensitivity and resentfulness, and my need to get along for the sake of harmony, trapped me into this no-win situation.

She did embed herself in the hierarchical structure (and saw herself as the power behind the throne). She acted as gatekeeper to control access to the supervisor, and to control the supervisor's perception of others. She enjoyed schadenfreude and also had a lot of freudenschade - presumably believing that the success was rightfully hers. She was a gaslighting gold medallist, and would (when no-one else was around) get very aggressive when her narrative was threatened. She had so many people fooled.

It's like being poked in the chest with a pin ,every 12 minutes

Rejection señsativity.

This is the best explanation of covert narcissism I've come across! ❤ Nailed my experience.

Everyone feels vulnerable many times in their lives but they don't rage and hurt other people.
As an empath, I feel hopeless to help as my family member is living in a completely delusional world.
They swing from grandiosity and vulnerability.
You don't know how they're going to react, either by screaming rage or bursting into tears and fake crying to manipulate others.
I've had to grieve a family member, realizing that they have no real ability to love and instead feel hate and envy and can't explain why.
They feel so entitled to do anything, as long as they get ahead.
As a society we need to call their behaviour out and bring them to earth with a thud or say goodbye to any relationship.
My question is how can a psychologist work to help them see the world through their delusions?
The pain and suffering is very real for the family as a whole.

Wow,!! This hit me to the core over family members , during a very difficult time being a carer for a parent.I laughed my head off when I look back. bridges are burnt now and the memories of there back handed compliments don't trigger my anger any more 😊 win win !!!

He is wrong in his dislike of social justice since it is narcissism.

They can be very confusing until you figure them out. They may be very charming at first. But also, they may be intimidating one moment and make you feel sorry for them the next. You'll be scratching your head wondering what just happened, until you realize what you are dealing with.

I’ve recently been in a relationship with a covert narcissist. He was intellectual and very articulate in the way he constructed his manipulations. Using guilt and “introspection” as well as his skills at motivational interviewing to slowly break me down over time. By the end of the relationship my self worth was incredibly depleted. I was overwhelmed and exhausted as the whole relationship was about him. Nothing I could do was ever enough. So insecure he could never trust me. The whole relationship was based on power and control. I believe he loved me, but perhaps a weird construct of a power/ control/ love relationship?
He was very jealous, which made me feel isolated over time.
At the end I saw the real him and it was so discerning. He manipulated me into termination of pregnancy, telling me would try again. Promised a future. After the procedure in stead of supporting me he seemed disgusted almost, verbally devalued me over a period of time. Couldn’t look at me. Then eventually dumped me

Covert narcissists tend to attract one another, and often create other covert narcissists. If you know one who deeply affected you in your life, chances you are or have become a covert narcissist yourself. It's a vicious cycle of self hate and belittling each other's self worth.

Brilliant. Video so helpful in understanding what I have endured as a HSP /empath. Not dominant but boy do they manipulate 😢

Brilliant description 👌 👏 👍Thank you for creating such an insightful portrait of the covert narcissist

I am grateful to have this knowledge you have shared. Thank you, as others have mentioned, for validating our experiences.

I am highly empathetic. I married a covert narcissist. We have christian views on marriage, including submission of the woman to the man, which has made my experience all the more awful.

Right now, I'm grateful my children and I have our own place, and I am living separate from my husband. However, I am torn between staying in this marriage, which may never be a normal relationship of love, and intimacy. Where the normal rules of give and take will not apply. Where I cannot be my authentic self, or, breaking the covenant I made before God. To stay and love this man. In sickness and in health. For better or for worse.

I really like your content and your videos. Congrats and thanks for all this valuable information. I would prefer Not to see you saying: if you like this video 200 times ill give you that information… it was triggering for me, to be honest. It felt a bit like a blackmail of information to people that are trying to heal and be better after narcisisitic abuse. You dont need to ask for likes like that, conditioning the info you will share if you dont get the likes, because your content is so good already that i am sure that many will be drawn to your Channel. But just conditioning the information videos felt wrong and a bit narcisistic, to be honest. It was really triggering for me 😢 Hope you take my coment in a good way. Thanks.

I have recently been told I’m a narcissist or a covert narcissist, am I no ( told after been seen for many years by a therapist) did I have many narcissistic traits, yes, do I still have some today, mainly still working on emotional numbness, but what is to be expected after being born and raised in that type of dysfunctional environment. Many behaviors can come off as narcissism but there is ability to heal and change those learnt behaviors but narcissists will not change because they truly believe there is nothing wrong with them and can not look within themselves and self reflect and see their behaviors. If you want change, Micheal Jackson had it right, look at the person in the mirror, cause you are the only person that you can change or heal.

Thanks for a really informative video😊

My husband is such a narcissist. He wants me to do him like all day long 🤪
I can't handle it

My older sister to a T!!!!

Thank you so much for this video. Very helpful

Sangat sensitif jika tdk mendapatkan respek
Kita harus memberikan respek
Bukan karena dia layak
Tapi jika dia merasa kita tdk memberikannya kepadanya
Dia akan bisa sangat menghancurkan


Grandious ingin berada di atas hierarki

Covert benci hierarki
Karena itu memicu perasaan inferiornya

Dia sulit berada di posisi atas seperti bos
Tapi sering berada di level menengah,manager, sekretaris

Di mana dia bisa melakukan kekejaman
Dan menghukum orang

Dia sangat bahagia di atas penderitaan orang

Sangat pemarah
Pemalu

Sangat tidak setuju
Sangat tdk dominan di depan orang kecuali di belakang

That envy. Brooding for 3 days. Not being able to perform well in an interview yet angry that no one gives them a go.
The humble look fools lots of people in social situations but does not work with a potential boss.

Great video pretty dumb to tell ppl what to say in ur own comment section tho…ppl have been violated and should b able to openly express that on a video literally about the abuse…narcissistic abuse victims r already scared to express themselves so that rlly wasn’t helpful

Brilliant video. I left, my ex husband after seeing so many rages. The rages were so scary. So glad I left him behind. I say Run, run run. A clever trap the narcissist sets up. A very informative video. Thank you

Is it possible to be both a covert narcissist and an empath? Weirdly I feel I have traits of both!
I can oscillate between feeling sympathetic to almost overwhelming degrees and also can sometimes take secret delight in the misfortunes of those who I am triggered by.
I can feel frustrated and envious of those who seem more successful than me and hide this with seeking ways to criticise them.
But then well up with loving or emotional feelings when I see their vulnerability. Help!!

Yes, I remember the devaluation and subsequent discarding kicking into high gear, around the time I started calling out the ways in which he was self-sabotaging and frustrating others.

Very interesting information put forth in a professional and informed manner!

Outstanding video. Would love to learn more.

This is the BEST video explaining the distinction between the two types of Narcs.

Ooh, this is really good, it explains their contrasting thought patterns so clearly, and connects more pieces and is starting to see the picture unfold. Yes! The first ten or so minutes I was just waiting for you to say PLAYING THE VICTIM, that’s been such a big one I’ve had experiences with. This actually is SO spot on that it’s giving me goosebumps!