The avoidant lost *YOU*

Its worse. This child didnt tell me, she is married with her ex. I was her rebound for 1.5 yrs

You have helped me quite a lot. Thank You so much. Really.

That's Truth❤
God Bless you!

Thank you so much for your understanding, compassion, validation, & guidance, Coach Ryan. Everything you said SO bullseye. 🎯 I TRULY NEED all this TRUTH you're telling me right about now, 5 days after being discarded. Appreciate you, Coach. God bless you. 🦋✨️♥️

But they won't realize the lost

Truth !

Every day, I want to break up with him.

Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, l've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why l am saying this here.

Thank you. You have helped so many of us through this pain.

But will they treat it as a loss?

thank you very much sir

Explaining this really helps cope with the worst way someone could have abandoned our marriage 😞

Why do you use that fake voice? It’s patronizing.

You can say what you’re saying normally like you merge into a few minutes in.

So glad I heard this - it feels so good to feel better after getting discarded

💯
My partner walked out on me & our 2 dogs of 14 years only to move in with someone else straight away & in 5 months get engaged & married!
This new partner & family he is marrying into have money so its funny how people can change because of money!🤑
He used to tell me in those 14 years that money would never change him!🙄
If only the new partner knew the real person he is & what there getting themselves into!
Hes now cheating behind his back already & having multiple random people!🤬
My life is better without a selfish, vindictive, cheating liar he is & one day karma will get him & people like him!
🫶

Words i need right now..thanks ryan...love from india

I has an avoidant ex who gave it her all. I become slowly going toxic because i do not understand her properly and she got tired and full of it.

He may have lost me but he doesn't care, so not really a loss...how do these people survive? They should be incarcerated for abuse

narcissistic

Finally... after 50+ years... he died ... Does Not make it easier ...

Thank you for this

Every time I think about reaching out or call her I come here and watch this video first.

Future self don’t forget all the nights of pain, the tears, the nightmares, the stonewalling, the ghosting. Don’t forget it.

Hi Ryan thankyou,it's been a year now when my ex wanted space.Still trying to heal my broken heart and she still wants to be friends 💔 🎉thanks from Harry.

Thank you for this

Thanks for your videos. They help me to keep no contact.

Thank you

Your videos take so much sting out of what I feel. Thank you!

The words I needed to hear - thank you

Thank you

Needed this

Brilliant video. I've watched it a few times.

Thank you. Your videos are helping me on my healing journey. You sum up the situation exactly in your words. ❤

After realizing that I was being played by the avoidant, I had one good, hard cry and moved on with no regrets or remorse.
‘A person cannot love as a courageous decision until they’ve experienced a broken heart (paraphrased)’.
Jordan Peterson

My dad is 73 and still has the emotionality of a child. I've tried for years to incorporate him into my life. It's pointless. He doesn't really try.

I have to remind myself every single day to not ruminate about the early stage of my avoidant ex. The one who was so "deeply in love with me " Or another popular phrase was 'all of me loves all of you ". Coach Ryan, you're right, they lost a person who truly put their heart into the relationship...only to be met with an unempathetic, stone cold stranger. Maybe one day she'll truly face herself and what she did...but I'm not holding my breath 😢

The problem is when you’re an empath, on top of everything else, u feel sorry for them. 😢

OR maybe......after 2 yrs they just ghosted you. Not a word. And after 1 yr in no contact, not a damn word. Nothing

The truth..thank you❤

❤

Avoidants have demon possession. The only thing we can do for them is to pray for salvation and deliverance.

That’s right ! HE LOST ME !
He won’t find anybody like me HIS LOSS !
Yup emotionally unavailable 🖤🖤
He’s so emotionally stunted. He got so angry at me for talking to a couple guys I know, ( but yet he was talking to women on his phone all the time and I was supposed to be OK with that ummm NO !)
That he had a Tantrum and then ghosted me and he probably doesn’t even know why he was angry !
So immature, I can’t be with someone that’s like that ! Plus, he’s an alcoholic so he’s really emotionally stunted

Thank you ❤

Isolation is a huge thing for PTSD

The loss of self is the essence of trauma

1) My life is a horrific nightmare

2) I am completely trapped inside of.

3) Just hell. No escape.

I have been severely brutally raped: my whole life (all 45 years so far)
red hot white burning homicidal rage: surges through my veins
I wish eternal suffering: upon all those whom I loathe
I'm in hell: and there's no escape

This might seem random
but...

I CANNOT
stop obsessing and ruminating

and I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this
and I need to get it off my chest

(and I'm also willing to read responses,
if anyone feels called to respond...)

I had a HORRIBLE therapist

HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE

the worst

but here's the thing...

it's twofold:

1) he's wildly successful
(and I can't for the life of me figure out why or how)

2) I saw him for almost all of 2023,
I was so traumatized when I went to see him,
that I just kept going,
because I had nowhere else to turn...

In the end, he really fucked me up.
Instead of helping me, he traumatized me further.

It's over 10 months now,
and I can't stop obsessing over how he's traumatized me,
and all the money I wasted, etc. etc.

I can file a formal complaint.
But the process seems long and arduous,
and brings me no particular benefits...
It's just that I can use my voice,
and he can potentially get reprimanded...

But if I do this I have to do it soon...

I don't know what to do?

Any thoughts, anyone?

When there’s a disagreement,

when I need to say YES
or when I need to say NO,

when I need to state my needs,
and ask for them to be met...

When I need to create boundaries...

There's a possibility and a probability,
that someone will inevitably,
most likely,
be disappointed in me...

So I engage in every encounter,
interaction, and relationship...
In a way that ensures,
that the person disappointed in me...

NEVER
ends up being me!

I aim to never repress,
never suppress.

I aim to never lose parts of myself.
To never fragment.

Radical honesty only:
100% of the time.

Always,
all ways.

I ASK MYSELF:

Am I willing to let go of giving my power away
to that particular thought/memory/feeling/belief?

Awesome message of encouragement and care. Thank you coach. I needed to hear this ❤

I felt he’s lost me ❤️‍🩹

Thank you, Coach.

Thank u 🥲

Love you man! Just been discarded ... Your videos are helping me so much!

Another very well done and articulated video. I didn’t know this DA syndrome existed until I went on the internet searching for conditions related to this behavior.

My heartfelt thanks for the kind, comforting, and healing words. I only just found this channel, two months after my last discard. Many times, I feel like I’m getting better, but this weekend, the pain overwhelmed me again. These videos have kept me going ever since, and it’s an indescribable relief – especially because I have no one to talk to about this – that someone validates my pain, my experiences, and practically names everything I went through this summer. Two days ago, I felt like I was going insane from the pain, but now, I feel like maybe I’ve started on the path to healing. Thank you.