How to FIX an Emotionally Abusive Relationship | Dr. David Hawkins

Sir, if you believe (I do not know) most narcissists are women, then you are not worth listening too. So where do you stand?
I an already Leary because the only good move for a victim is to run, run, run..
I did not run and it cost me everything.
I could win 80% if the battles but it takes too much energy that no one has if you plan on working.
No one would helo me because no one believed me. It never got past being ignored....
I have had to recover on my own but admittedly, it has made it way way much harder.

Nope nilch Nada who would want to work on something that never existed. 44 years. Had to leave to save my sanity not the rotten abuse.

What if you are a guy who is in an emotionally abusive relationship? I am lost and hurting. I just don't want to live anymore like this.

Thank you just, thank you

I have a friend who is confused on whether she is abused or not. Her husband says she is not. Although she says he calls her nasty names when hes angry with her and now for the past couple of years he pulls her hair, kicks, slaps her face and trips her to fall on purpose. Sounds like abuse to me but he tells her shes such a bitch that hes too easy on her. He takes her phone away when he feels shes going to "accuse" him of abuse to others. Hes even asked her friends, including me to please not talk to her because shes a liar and needs help. How do i help such a friend?

My husband finally realized hes abusive. He has always needed to be right..making it impossible for him to compromise or self reflect. His defensiveness in arguments makes me feel hopeless... Ive been in therapy for 4 years..he used it for crazy making... using the fact that I'm in therapy means I'm the one that needs help... but we had a major blow up recently, he went to a level he had never.... but it clicked he saw himself ...finally... hes embarrassed... Hes admitted hes always defensive...he even said I became reactive because he was being unbearable. Hes finally seeking the help I've been begging for for years. I'm hanging on but I'm worn out...I need to see change

This is the most nonsensical rant about abuse that i ever heard. I feel sorry for whomever listens to this guy's really really dangerous advice. Dude whatever your name is, you need expert guidence of your own! You can "never EVER" heal by yourself! 😆

Thank you.

How do you explain to someone how their behavior makes you feel, if they believe your feelings are whats wrong, that you're just too sensitive? How can you make someone take ownership of hurtful behaviors, when they believe their behavior is my fault or that i deserved it? How do you communicate, listen, acknowledge the other side, come to a mutual understanding with someone who refuses to listen or to be wrong? How do you talk to someone who isnt listening? How do you invoke empathy with someone who doesn't feel a need to understand your perspective because they think your opinion Is too stupid to be worth listening to? How do you explain that you dont feel important or valued to someone who has no interest in how you feel? How do you be emotionally vulnerable with someone who wilI use your vulnerabilities against you? How do you build trust with someone who lies? How do you get someone to even just acknowledge your perception even if they don't agree, when they will just gaslight you?

Thank you.

No

The hurtful part of this video is that I’m a husband in an emotional abusive marriage. Husbands get abused too. Come on!

Actually I don't believe most narcissit behavior comes from women.. that is bull. I lived thru 23 years of emotional abuse from my husband. And his advice is right if you decide to work on yourself in the marriage. But the abuser will sabitosh your efforts. I know I went thru it. I had to leave to get healthy. Super hard to do when you feel so broken and helpless. Thanks for sensible advice. I do understand wanting to stay in the marriage. You are weak and their are numerous losses when you leave.

Do you have a video that teaches men what to do when the female is being mentally abusive.

Here is how to understand why you have to get professional help:
IF you could figure out a way on your own, you would have already done it.

The objective is to have new and unbiased information come in to root out unhealthy patterns for the two of you to work on together, each of you taking responsibility for your own end of it.

That being said, there are times where so much damage has been done to the foundation and trust has eroded beyond what is healthy for an individual….
My relationship was doomed from “I do”. He’d lied to me about his values, he was a chameleon. I learned how he lied about money, about lifestyle, eventually he lied about being in therapy (he was then having an affair, with three separate women, I learned)
He’d be silent/ mute for days and come out verbally swinging with every provocation he could think of from false accusations to putting down others I love in vile ways (my son, my sister, a close friend).
One day, I finally said, “I can’t do this anymore, you have to leave”.

I share this not to trauma dump but to show that sometimes we are the only one working to save the relationship.
Period.
If this is you too in any way, speak with a therapist, if they mention you’re being emotionally abused, sit with that a while. It is painful, and magically helpful at the same time.

Here’s to healing!

My wife is very very abusive physically. I can’t even live with my own thoughts. I have full time job and supporting the family. She is a nurse. She has many relatives rely on her income, but I don’t have on my side. I don’t have any problems with that, she wants me to do everything for her and for them

Idk how to handle . I got abusive and depressed wife . Every little mistakes i made , she will give me verbal abuse , and physics abuse like kicking , hitting my head.

She has very depresed also , still traumatic. Im on level i cant stand anymore .

Disney beauty and the beast promoted staying in an abusive relationship with a narsist and promoted stockholm syndrome

My sister lives in a relationship where the man doesnt want to work hard to be the main source of incomes he likes to be hanging around the house while she is working 10hrs a day… Everytime she thinks in divorce he uses the Bible saying ‘thats not Gods will and you know it you will break our sons heart’ he doesn’t want to cook or clean either. What to do?

Run baby run.

Id like to go

I didn’t get very far into this video. I think the only way to fix an emotionally abusive relationship is to leave one. There is a book called “why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft. Go read that book and finally see things clearly. Emotional abuse destroys you piece by piece.

What if the other half ( man or woman) won't go to therapy? Mine is controlling the electricity. No lights on at night time, one shower a week, he cooks because he says I waste the gas, no hair dryer, no ironing, calls names, never physically aggressive, needs tobtell me how to put the washing out, by the way we are in our 60s, tells me i can't do anything, latest is saying i eat more than him n eat all the time, saying I'm fat which im not, no affection, could go on.. I love him but i don't like the way he treats me. Talks down to me infront of people when he wants to. What is your advice to me please

What if she won’t leave

Leaving is the best part, i had a caregiver who was abusing me Emotionally, verbally and psychologically and i couldn't take it i ended up homeless but i felt happy when i got outz the neverending nightmare of abusers, why do they keep coming in my life when i clearly do not want them?

What about the husband who repeatedly sacrifice everything still has to face blame and no freedom . Why everyone only discussing about the negative part of husband why not about the wife ..

Lots of men get abused by toxic women too.

That told me absolutely nothing. But it was a down to earth advertisement

That "emphatic statement" is exactly why I clicked on this video. Thank you very much for clarifying that we (meaning us and our partner) cannot heal TOGETHER! ❤ Peace🙏🏼

This video was 7 minutes too long, you leave.

I cant leave cuz i love him and couldn’t bare seeing him with someone else and treating them better than he has ever me. Im pretty sure he wld love for me to leave, i just refuse. Also dont want to give up whats half mine. N basically if i leave, i leave everything n end up with nothing but my clothes. He made sure it was ultimately set up like that.

My husband is the one providing in the house.. I've tried finding a job but still not find one so due this my husband is abusing me emotionally... hmmm

Men can be emotionally abused by toxic women.

Nope!!!!!

It's getting worse he's losing hisinf he's 75

There is NO healing together with someone who says they don't have any issues and is unwilling to recognise their behaviours.

That's the point.

We can do everything by the book in giving healthy responses. But if the emotional abuser/narcissist is still abusive that's NOT our fault

I wouldn't ever commission a plumber to rewire my house. That's the best analogy I can give in expecting an emotional abuser/narcissist to change.

Useless video.
TLDR = (Get professional help and heres our advertisement) nothing practical.

How do you know if it’s emotional abuse or if I’m just reading too much into things that are said?

Could you include both men and women?

As a husband and father of almost 6( oldest 10) , I think I can be emotional and verbally abusive at times and I don’t try to be. It just happens, I let my wife and my children know this is not okay and we turn to the lord, what is a great tool other than walking away and breathing to deal with it head on. I want to be better and I want my children to find a man who doesn’t do this. If anyone has prayers or some serious constructive criticism please reply. Thank yall and god bless. (Edit: There is no backstory because that doesn’t matter I’m the man of the house and it’s my job to lead, no matter the circumstances one can change with the right tools.)

What if u have kids with him

💕 that it’s like learning Spanish! We need a Spanish teacher, course, or app, but some guidance on which word to use when.

Thank you! 🙏

I am learning that the key to this is cleaning up my own proverbial side of the street. Dho! Easier said than done.

But with expert guidance, I can manage to learn.

Thank you!

Love the mobile or Tetris style game metaphor: When one piece of the puzzle fits, it can break barriers in others.

Knowing and doing are 2 different things for my ADHD brain. 🧠 Dho!

Thank you! This is a great place to work on myself today. Why not? Where else?

Why does it have to be a woman in a relationship?

I've lost too much respect and love for him. I'm out!