I CANNOT Win a Single Game of Warhammer 40k

Sounds like you need ORKS! They must be callin' fer a Krumpin'!

Hey, I coach a complete other sport

Are you able to practice any games where you can't accomplish too much turn one, so you have more game time with more drawn out, more turns? So you as a player actually just have more experience allowing things to go longer and be over the course of multiple turns?

Ork way is da tru way

bro paint your minis 😄

My man got possesed by a Khornate Berzerk and just went:

"KILL MAIM BURN!!!!!!!!"

Feel bad for the unpainted minis.

Should play orks oomie not good orks iz best no such thing as over extend just dakka and den krump

kinda makes me glad now that I think about it that Necrons have such a short move range. lol Cant really over extend on 5" XD

play against AdMech, you will win.

the learning curve of this game is why I don't play it despite owning 2 armies

do you make the mistake over extending turn 1
me a world eater: THATS THE GOAL NOT A MISTAKE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

I have a similar problem.

I play Imperial Guard which means of course I have a lot of infantry. I know my infantry die easily. I know they will get scythed down if they are caught on their own. I am fully aware of these things.

...And yet somehow I always find myself with squads of squishy, 1 wound 5+ save infantry standing alone, out in the open, trying desperately trying to hold some objective in no-man's land at the edge of the board.

I don't know why I put them there and thought they could hold that objective by themselves or do anything at all besides give my opponent free points.

And I keep doing it. Every game.

This is how I live my life

You’re insane. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I played for 15 years and lost every 40k game.

I have THIS. EXACT. ISSUE.

Okay, so you're basically still in turn 1 with Gundam model kits, and you started with a MG thats known to be a bit older, a HG that's fairly modern and has few flaws, and then IMMEDIATELY you went for the RG Zeta.

Your only issue in these games is that nobody forced you to play Orks, because that is your spirit army.

Maybe try picking up killteam?

Your brain takes over and makes you play for fun instead of playing to win.

Love this video shows no matter what army u have the best tactician always wins, by the way admech in crusade

I haven’t won a game in 2 years. That’s ok because I’m not in it to win, I’m in it to Krump.

My major flaw is positioning.
I can't ever seem to position properly during deployment, and am always screwed turn 1 on.

havent seen the change but hoping necrons are still armor killers as always. because it was always fun to measure up a unit of warriors at my opponents armor and hear "wait what strength are their weapons", to which i reply "doesnt matter i hit on 3s and after that all i needs a 6" lol then there was the scarab swarms, fun armor munching glass cannons lol.

I have the same thing with Blood angels. I used to just throw my marines at enemies and sometimes they would come on top but usually if I was playing a competent player they would be destroyed. Playing assault(Berserker) army is actually very tactical..

Dont worry, as a dark angels player i always pick "egnmatic goal" as one of my crusade objectives... I've played 3 games and ive failed to keep that objective every time.

Shooting versus tyranids that’s all I’m gonna say

when the ork player picks nurgle XD id recomend drukhari or slaanesh you have to learn positioning or you will get blown away, nurgle makes you think you can survive, either that or necrons, if you lose guys eh theyll be back maybe

deep strike into the enemy DZ even tho i really dont have to has lost me at least 3 games, i have played 13, i have never won, thats still the only thing that comes to mind

Omg are you me?

Perhaps your not overextending enough?

With the way you play who knows maybe your a khorne player

lol I'm undefeated. Because I've never played a single game

Winning is for losers.

This is why I exclusively play Guard or Ork horde armies, and follow the tactics of General Melchett.

Horrific, overwhelming casualties is what I'm aiming for. If they happen to occur on my opponent's side, then I'll just have to find a way to come to terms with that, possibly through therapy.

Gonna be honest sounds like you just need to play orks, tactics are not in your blood

This is my head canon for how the screaming ravens operate

Forgetting to bring my "Anti-Big Things" stuff. I had my entire army almost wiped in a 2v2 by the Nightbringer because I pushed all my infantry up board in a Crassus and tried to flank with my Scout Sentinels to spot for my Basilisk and Field Guns. I got my ass beat the fuck up by that whole debacle.
Nightbringer and 2 destroyers popped my Crassus in 1 turn, then the Nightbringer just wiped the floor with my infantry... fuckin' Ebay player brought the current most meta bullshit to a newbie tourney, smh... the ork player was really fun to play against though, I enjoyed the back and forth with his squighog boys trying to melee my Sentinel and just not being able to land hits lol. But ye, not having something that could reasonably handle the Nightbringer is what lead to my loss in that game. A single leman russ punisher would have done so much T.T

You can't lose with da orkz

People: You play this game a lot, you must be good, right?
Paul: 😿 cue crying cat music

Youre losing because you are playing the wrong faction! Clearly you haven’t heard about our Lord and savior Angron

Last game I played I tried to take my opponent's home objective with my storm speeder and later extended my whirlwind onto a midfield objective. Both got wiped out in melee. You think I'd realize that playing an artillery based shooting heavy army would mean I would advance my main artillery unit forward, especially since the entire board is always within it's range, but there you go

Its AoS, not 40k but I ALWAYS charge in my big stompy stormcast general (who is faster than the rest of my army) turn one and then play the rest of the match without my general because he instantly died upon contact.

my manif you were killing everything you should play khorne. They are 0 iq warriors that charge forward

There is only so much planning and coming up with strategies you can do and they will never survive first contact brother. I've decided a long time ago that I cant count on any units to actually do their job so I'm going into every match assuming I'm on the back foot immediately and that any unit that is targeted will be wiped in that same turn. And surprisingly I've been winning more games that way. I started this mindset in 7th edition and its carried me this far lol now it seems like I'm never punished for being greedy lol

You just need a better gaming table, pleb.

This is why I like playing the game...
Easy to win against people who turn their brain off when the game starts.

You should play Khorne

I cept on loosing to my sister because neither of us new how to play so the fact that she was very lucky just crushed me.

I've won two games in the last five years. Im just really bad at this game 😂😂

Ah bugger. As someone has pointed out that isn't a Baneblade it's a Rogal Dorn but the point still stands I am an idiot