Nostalgia, and Getting Stuck in the Past

I love nostalgia and tend to reminisce on my childhood quite often, it was such a simpler time

Man this is relatable, between loving things that were most relevant when I was born, being born early enough to live an analog childhood, and being born late enough to be mostly incompetent with today's technology, I find myself hating the idea of pushing 30 and amounting to nothing significant. As a musician every genre I love has been done to the point it feels impossible to be original. my rock, punk, and metal heroes are dead or the bands broken up. I hate humanity's insatiable thirst for technological advancement to the point that my "smartphone" is designed to fail after a year or two of ownership. I hate that the housing crisis and need for a credit score prevent me from ever owning a house and I'm stuck in a decrepit travel trailer. I still collect physical media and dislike the majority of the art and movies that are produced today . I know the past wasn't necessarily "better" objectively, however I was born and raised in a world of Walkman tape players and 2 dollar gallons of gas, but I'm stuck in a world where not even cash is relevant and I can't apply to a job unless it's "Online". I specifically wasn't designed for this digital dystopian hellscape

I really do think about 1999 playing mario 64 and starting to draw while playing, really was a chill and interesting times and I was 5.

This was perfect for helping me sort this subject out. I particularly enjoyed the parts about going through the qualities of the past that you liked and finding appropriate ways of engaging those qualities and experiences in the present 👍. Works for me.

I realized what I most missed was the freedom of playfulness those I so enjoyed as a young person and that’s definitely something I really want and can reconnect with inside me.

I'm a little bit confused about how this doesn't just lead to hedonism. Isn't taking responsibility a good thing? But that implies thinking about the future? Doesn't living in the present just lead to doing irresponsible stuff? I mean I know it doesn't necessarily. But I don't know why.

Hilariously I barely can think of the good "Nostalgic" times. I hated school and I barely enjoyed my social life either. I had bullying at a pretty extreme level, was nearly ki**ed a couple of different times (not by the bullies, separate events). What do I have to be super nostalgic about?? Most of my more recent years are much better than my my school years

For the algo

I feel college is better than the depressive high school though, probably a lucky thing

Just searched "Dr. K, Nostalgia" because I needed something to help explain why, sometimes, nostalgia makes me really sad. I was watching Paramore music videos from 2005-2007 (when I was between 16-18) and watching them and the memories they brought back really made me damn sad but they were happy memories. So bizarre.

I'm the opposite, I keep running from my past and grown more and more into who I want to be. But I keep running into nostalgic people, and I never understood why they seem stuck in time. I'm just like I don't remember you or care about this time and I don't like having my old self projected.

Dr.k your lectures are not only giving information, I actually feel like I'm hanging out with virtual friends about life and common experiences. It's like so chill. Thank you n.n

I wrote a four hundred fifty page memoir at 29... So yeah, this is definitely me, but I don't romanticize my history. It was honestly pretty screwed up.

“The good old days weren’t always good and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.” -Billy Joel

grab the bull by the horns, the old adage goes. nobody tells you where to go from there

Say you want about cognitive bias, but video games suck nowadays and I miss the PS2/GameCube...

Looking back to the past disturbs me I'd never want to feel like that again😢

I know Dr.K has a mostly young audience, but this trap of getting your mind stuck in the past is happening to me right now at age 40. I wish i could go back to 2005 when i was in my early twenties, enjoying college and playing world of warcraft.

As a fellow adult, that D&D description with hummus and walk breaks sounds glorious.

"Innocence means living in the present" holyshit!!!!

Them: it gets better
Dr K: hold my beer

"I'm being alone whole my life, I'm 16". That was truth for me until 24. But since that time I was able to form some kind of relationship with three girls, and everytime it fell apart in several months. I'm 36 now and I'm alone for most part of my life and embraced the fact that marriage or even long-term relationship is not a thing for me. I don't have necessary skills to make first-time good impressions, and even less qualified to maintain existing relationship. So the only substitue for non-existing partner is memory of times, when I had some chances with girl that was my first unrequited love (at least I hope that there were some chances and it wasn't futile from the beginning).

Brilliant video

Dr. K reading the "edit" section of a Reddit post 😂😂😂😂

And the bizarre thing is... I'm starting to become addicted to You... 🤓

Love everything he says but I think he needs to comment on social issues a little more. Being personally happy can only get you so far when student debt and other economic issues loom over us

Everything has been done before

Have you ever heard of a layered mind concentric circle chart?

TLDR; try going for a walk without your phone, music, or any device. You’ll feel like a kid again

I had this same revelation the other day. For context, when I’ve gotten nostalgic, thankfully it’s more of an appreciation for those times and memories, rather than a longing to return to those times. It’s cuz I appreciate my current life, and I know in the future, I’ll be similarly nostalgic for these times. Aka, just be present! Haha

But yeah I was on a walk, which I’ve become infatuated with, and asked myself the question “what does feeling like a kid actually feel like?” And I boiled it down to a total presence in what I was doing. This walk in particular, it was really nice out and got me thinking of playing outside in warm weather as a kid.

There’s a big factor that has influenced the enjoyment of my walks, tho. I don’t walk with any audio and I don’t have my phone on me.

This has made a huge difference. Thankfully my area is safe to do this. But walking without a phone/device has made all the difference. Even having it off or on airplane mode doesn’t suffice. It cannot be on me.

This has given me time to be fully immersed in the present, and to allow my mind room to breathe and work thru what it needs to. It’s so amazing! There’s so much detail in nature, the sounds, scenery, and landscapes. I am authentically present, physically and mentally. If someone wants to reach me, they’d have to physically find me.

It’s such a small detail but it makes all the difference, and I realized, going for walks (and other events in general) without a phone is a GREAT practice in feeling like a kid, aka being present. It’s like your mind has no other choice but to be present, and it’s truly freeing and rejuvenating.

It's kind of the opposite for me because when I think of the past, I remember how I had to keep working hard all the time when it came to school work and all my extracurriculars that I don't have time for myself. It got worse when I got into high school because before then I at least had a childhood but when I got into high school it ended because I have more homework to do and I attended more extracurriculars but I didn't want to stop doing the extracurriculars that I was doing before high school because I wanted to spend more time with my family. What I'm trying to say is that I essentially became a "workaholic" at school as well as home responsibilities since I was roughly 7, I don't like it. I don't like that I've become a workaholic throughout my school life just because I put pressure on myself to be a high achiever and get to a good school and if I slip up, my life will be miserable and I'll make my family's life miserable as well.

this was the best video ive ever needed

"Innocence means living in the present." This MOVED me. 🙏

I feel i am stuck in the past. I romanticize about the friendships and things i did. But.... i intentionally created these wonderful vacation, events and memories, knowing i would have something beautiful to remember. Now im too attached to these people who are not attached to me. Nor do they remember it as nicely as i have. My life has been on hold because i dont want to move on to the future because once it's gone, it's gone for good.

Isn’t it funny how our minds really just love to play with us…? When we start doing well, or something sparks a traumatic memory it likes to send us spiraling out and just so stuck on this horrible experience & feeling. And it seems as though trauma is so deeply engraved in our psyche that it appears more than we would like. But when we’re down, nostalgia pops up & we begin to ruminate on GOOD past times somehow making us feel worse… when things are good though, rarely do you think back like “oh I’ve had such a good life— remember when this this & this happened?” Or when things are bad do you think back like “gosh I’ve been in so many rough situation and they were sooo tough to get through, but I did make it, many times I’ve made it.”

how do you live in the present, when there is nothing to enjoy in the present. All there is is to hope for a better future and dwell on a better past..

39 is an ‘old man ‘ ? 🥴

Me, having 100 problems in 2014: I'm depressed and stressed.
Me now, 2024, having 100 problems: Oh, life was so easy and pleasant in 2014, I miss those days.
😂😂

Me yesterday: shit day, missing how I used to be happy the day before.
Me today: I miss yesterday, I was so happy !.
😂

Nice seeimg a Indian or american born indian/britsh without a indian accent just like me i got a full british 🤣

Me and my friends are between 25 and 30 and we cant play DnD for more than 4 hours anymore, because we are all exhausted from the week before lol

We still had a absolute blast. I will never not love Pen&Paper

The video is spot on, with that said I think it also depends on what we are nostalgic about and I don't think it's a problem if it evokes positive memories and is not causing pain in the present. So Lets say you read this James Bond novel many years ago and have found memories of reading that novel. You can re-live those memories by re-reading the novel if you still have it around if not (for some reason) you should be able to track down another copy by searching the internet.
I would say nostalgia only comes with pain (and grief) if you are longing for a person, pet, or place which are no longer there.

I romanticise past that waa horrid for the most part, it's easier than letting go of bad times and forgiving idiots ❤🥲🤞🏼