Theresa is Boring! A Book Review of Empress Theresa | Part 1

I think the real question is whether or not AI could write a better book than Empress Theresa.

Omg I remember seeing that horse dog door commercial on tv. Im serious. I think it was an Amazon ad with the sell being fast delivery

Well, The time to re watch the Empress Theressa 4 part Review is upon me again. 😅

Just finished Skyshade and 4th wing.

Honestly this review is very comforting and I have rewatched it a few times. Kudos.

Seeing how in the first chapter it is mentioned she has a relative with schizophrenia, I think it is fair to assume the whole story of the book is just made up in her mind. It explains how she didn't become red mist after hitting the water since physics don't apply to a made up world. All the people act so illogical because they do what this child thinks they should do. This could have been an interesting book about a woman struggling with paranoid schizophrenia but that would have taken an actual writer to think of and pull off.

I've watched and rewatched these reviews several times. Do it whenever I just want a marathon for one of the worst books ever made.

In this run I was reminded of a character I haven't put together a setting for yet. The basic idea was a young woman with an energy being gestating inside her. This creature is like a living star, able to produce tremendous amounts of energy and manipulate not only energy but matter as well. So, a powerful entity sharing a body with an ordinary girl - a lot like Hal and Theresa, right?

Except we're talking about channeling the power of a star through human flesh. Every time this woman uses the energy being's powers, she burns. The entity puts her back together, but it may not always do it right, leading to scarring every time. Along with that, this entity does have a want and actively talks to her, yearning to get enough power that it can "hatch" as a full blown energy-based lifeform. Naturally, the character isn't in love with this idea, since she's the "egg."

I was thinking of going with a sci-fi setting, and having there be groups that see the entity inhabiting the woman as a type of god. With the amount of power these beings have, I also thought there was a good chance of her being hunted as a power source too. I just don't have a setting nailed down for this idea.

Young girls love 2001 Soace Odyssey and The Caine Mutiny

The miniature horse commercial was an Amazon commercial. Showing yoiu can get anything on Amazon. Not for horse dog doors

Empress Theresa is a case study in what happens when a story is never challenged, never questioned, and created in a vacuum. There’s something tragic about it. Not in a cruel way—but in the sense of a lonely voice trying to prove itself, and missing the mark so widely that it becomes a warning.

It’s also deeply human. In the same way outsider art or rambling manifestos are: it's raw, sincere, and completely blind to its own flaws.

-Chat Gpt

If this book were set in Germany, they could've just had some of the watchers become university students so they can be in the same classes as here

Weird that I got this rec (maybe it's my Man Carrying Thing sub?) of a 5-year-old review. After listening for a few minutes, I'm just glad I quit lit. Quit Lit - my favorite, and perhaps inevitable, genre.

No, this book is a literal peice of dogshit made by a man who probably should be investigated by the police

The hair thing makes no sense because when i was very young i had very long hair

This video came out 5 years ago and now I'm 5 years older from learning about Empress Theresa

One thing in specific that’s always bugged me about Empress Theresa’s flip-flopping on “she’s hated by everyone” and “she’s loved by everyone” is that Norman straight up doesn’t understand that historically speaking, saints are not generally well-liked by the government and authority figures. Joan of Arc, who Theresa was so heavily based on, was executed for heresy despite being incredibly virtuous because the Catholic Church wanted her gone. Empress Theresa is so universally beloved by everyone in power that the one politician who ever did anything to try to stop her was a lone actor who was essentially committing political suicide to try and save America from her perceived threat. I simply do not buy that more people in powerful positions like Empress Theresa than they did Jesus Christ, the only man to never have sinned.

Most men and women of great virtue die as martyrs due to their very nature. The fact that Theresa can’t manage that actually does make her appear more like an Antichrist or Satanic figure.

I'm sure Norman wants Theresa

I gotta be totally honest I like the covers lmao. the skill level is low, but I kinda think the colour composition rocks and I like the handmade style. Idk man I dig it XD

Theresa's cleavage charmed the crowd...

So what, did they pop out of her dress, and start shaking everyone's hands? Asking how the kids were doing, commenting on their wedding outfits?

no disrespect. i'm writing a book right now and i really hope i will never be reviewed by you

I am once again listening to this masterpiece of a series. I hope you and Book Queen are doing great, Krim!

Five years later, I discover this horrible book

"your opinion means jack shit to me"
Proceeds to make a 7.5 hour long 5-part series breaking down the book out of spite <3

Norman!!!! 😂

I like checking this when I feel insecure about my writing, because I know I cannot do worse than Norman or Onision.

I've watched all parts of this review about 3-4 times and always forget Theresa is supposed to be brunette. I always imagined her as a blonde

Ever since WWII, it's been well-established that members of the military are not supposed to follow unlawful orders---that was a central point of the Nuremburg trials, after all. IIRC, the US military specifically instructs its troops that they have a duty to refuse unlawful orders. Secretly executing a civilian with no explanation given sounds like exactly that sort of situation.

that gmod idiot box reference goes HARD xddd

It feels like Norman's biggest problem is that he doesn't know how to structure a novel, specifically he doesn't know how to make paragraphs pull double-duty. His paragraphs are either description, action, or dialogue, never more than one at the same time. To try and fix this and make his paragraphs more interesting, he just makes the paragraphs as long-winded as possible, which only results in action scenes where a dozen things happen but none of it is described effectively, characters mentally describing every tiny thing so much that it kills any pacing, and the dialogue, which...I probably don't even need to comment on. To be fair, I'm sure a lot of beginner writers have the same problem with their drafts, but those writers easily fix said problems by taking a few online writing classes, or, you know, reading someone else's work.

Still no explanation as to why she's an airline pilot on the cover

You know, jumping into any body of water from that height is like diving into cement. The result will be the same.

i haven't even gotten past the review of the first chapter, and so far this story sounds like the ramblings of a paranoid schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur. sadly, i get the sense that a story about the character described above would be more compelling than empress theresa is

Yikes! I just stmbled upon the phenomenon of Empress Theresa today from another reviewer dated 3 weeks ago ... never heard of Norm Boutin...The problem with reviews for books like this (however warranted) gives it more attention than it deserves ... it's a catch 22...

Every time you mention HAL I think of Lil HAL from Homestuck

"That was literally 14 pages ago." Me when someone points out a contradiction in my manuscript.

I wrote fanfics better paced than this at 13 years old on Wattpad.

this dude sounds like weird al half of the time and it's great

What do you expect, he's French....

I love that this 400-something page book took you two months to read, yet any volume of The Stormlight Archive takes me about six weeks. Empress Theresa is so awful, it needs multiple months to complete.

Also, this reminds me of reading the first volume of The Irregular at Magic High, a Japanese light novel less than half the page count, and it took me six months to finish. It was so goddamn boring I needed half a year to read it.

I can't believe this review is 5 years old already. Time to rewatch it all again

Just discovered your channel ! This video is very entertaining. I love your insight and humor. I'll watch part 2 next !

Please stop yellling at me.

This feels like a book written by a mentally ill human being. Is Norman in good hands rn?

This book should be mandatory reading material in lessons about what not to do as a writer. It's got just about everything you could ask for from an example of what not to do.