how to deal with your toxic family | understanding signs, regaining power, new mindset + solutions

Have no one to talk about this I feel so bad right now

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Those signs made me cry 🥺

I hate the feeling that I was so in rush to watch this vedio... because I am crying like a shit

For the first 3½ minutes she put what's going on in my life in words

Thank youu . I needed to hear this. Just had someone in family talk/complain behind my back and these are such good reminders to dtay grounded in myself

My dad was a workaholic, all he cared about was work and buy more farms as assets. Despite many advice from his friends, he didn't write a will even at 86, left his assets partially distributed to my elder bro, and left the rest in his own name and my mum's name. After he passed, his best friend came to will everything in his name to my mum. His assets all in a mess, my bro won't do the administration eventhough he's the executor, so basically most things still stuvk in my dad's name. My mum is an old housewife, totally clueless and can't manage. I had to come back from overseas, drop my professional career to manage my dad's 2 companies, 14 farms in the small towns, many rental properties in the capital city, and help my mum solve everything, including pushing for the probate to transfer titles from my dad's name to my mum (we do the title finding, prepare everything the lawyer needs, and then push the lawyer to get the executor(my bro) to sign. My other sisters, some with shares in the companies claim ignorance in the business and farms and would not help. Everyone put the responsibly to manage everything to me (2 companies, 14 farms over several small towns, 6 rental properties in my siblings names - rentals, tenants, renovations) all on me. I worked like a mad buffalo last 5 years, while they all go on multiple holidays every year, when I don't even have time for my own personal life. Several girls wanted to be in relationship with me but after seeing im too busy for them and the kind of life im living, they called it off as they say there's no quality of life and I'm too busy to even meet them. I've complained many times to my mum but she's clueless and doesn't know how to manage, basically she relies on me 100% to manage all these assets. My bro just takes the big boss role in our bigger companies and takes the big salary and pushes the work to the many managers and rarely comes back to my parent's house. He's smart, he knows the 14 farms in personal names are small and tedious to manage as we don't have managers basically I have to self manage with labourer workers. I have blood pressure of 175/110 if i don't take meds. My mum just nags me to take the needs, something which I hate to take as they weaken your kidneys long term. I feel my family is negligent and irresponsible. Everyone has their own lives and boundaries and conveniently push all the burden of work and problem solving to my mum and me (mostly me, as I need to help my mum). I'm very disappointed in human nature, everyone is lazy and entitled and only care abt their own enjoyment, and push the work to others. My dad was negligent and focused on keeping himself as a busy bee to feel active and failed to plan anything and caused the big mess that missed all the planning as he got older and forgetful. His friends advised him to sell off his small plantations and give the money to the kids for them to have capital to do and invest what they want, but he didn't want to, to him, owning farms and plantations is a must. He would only buy assets without selling, claiming selling assets means the money will be spent by the kids. It's all wrong old generation thinking. I do feel bad judging them, but when I get stressed and overwhelmed with 101 things to handle and solve for them, I do resent them. Basically they've all squeezed every minute of my life to do their work while they do nothing, even those given more shares or have assets in their names push the work to me to handle.

I genuinely can’t take it, everything I do is never right. My mom dictates my entire life yet get mad when I can’t make decisions, my sister bullies and criticizes me for opening up, calling me “sensitive” or “too emotional” whenever I tell her her comments affect me, then she tells me it’s for my own good so I can “toughen up”. My brothers and her laugh at me behind my back… everytime I see them I get met with constant teasing, bullying, and lectures yet they are surprised when I isolate myself from them. Everyone’s out to get me, everything I do is a lose-lose situation and I didn’t know how to cope…. Thank you for this video btw it helps so much.

alot of ppl r like well thats ur family n making others feel bad for leaving there toxic family like no, I CHOOSE my family

i cried and couldnt finish oh lord im your weakest soldier

Hey tam I'm watching this in 2025 and I'm so glad that you made this video coz God knows i needed this😭 Once upon a time i hated myself so bad for not being enough but then i met God and he's been my therapist ever since.

The toxicity is still in the family but am coping much much better, learning to love myself a little more and also respect myself coz I'm valuable 💜
Honestly it was soooo hard but small steps got me where i am right now, sadly i haven't moved out yet but I've learned how to detach and tune out their negativity 😊
One day all of us who've gone through this will be fully happy and satisfied with ourselves away from toxic family members 💜🙏

So love and Favor for anyone reading this💜💜💜
Thanks again Tam🫂, keep making these typa videos ,they really help👍

Ps. I'm a new subscriber from today😂🙌

im feel like im rotting here oh god im going insane

Sis they won't let me move out of their house until I'm married, what should I do, they don't let me go alone anywhere, not even college, they physically abuse me, verbally abuse me and for i long time I argued back but now I'll not do that... Thanks you sis love you

Laughing and taking pride about that one time you was hurting your own daughter until her nose was bleeding is literally bollocks

Hey fam if your reading I would like to ask a question I’m 12 and have a toxic family member and can’t cut them off because of my age what should I do

How many girls are are watching this with their mom in mind ?

I'm so sad rn because of them. I love them, but I can't wait to move out to find my own peace again. I'm just 17 and I hope I'll be able to do it as soon as possibile. Thank you for this video.

When I was five I was crying bc my grandma was yelling at me and she said “stop crying or I will give you something to cry about”:(

Hi tam Kaur .I am from Bangladesh.and I am really glad to say that you healed me in so many levels.i just love your contents as well as you.Keep going.

at this point im 25 i realised how fuckin manipulative my mother is i just don't give a shit about her because i have been dissapointed gaslighted and bullied

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this video trigger me too much, i can't listen to the whole video...

sometimes i just wish that i never existed in this dirty world. i don't hate myself, i just hate having to experience this..

The pain in my heart is unbearable, my husband leaving our marriage have put a ton in my heart, I have been telling myself am strong enough but am not sure I am, I haven’t been able to get him of my mind, I just want him back

It’s wild how most of the comments are from Indians.The toxicity in the way many of us are raised — the pressure, the guilt-tripping, the emotional manipulation — it’s exhausting.

We can heal, everyone can ❤

Bro the harsh reality our parents are also people they feel being parents gives them supernatural power

Gaslighting is real

i cried hearing that .iam so relived hearing that it's like you know exactlly what i want to say

my family always , daily, everyday...... calls me crazy, psycho, mad and all the ugly things

In my family as an elder daughter who going through difficult situation such as hell🙂...nobody notices me and they want me live in low....if i get more happy and genuine they hate me and you know guys i am suffering from anxiety depression allover low self esteem .No one heals me noone give me a shoulder to cry ....they say am angry person cold....sometimes i act cold because to hide the pain😊😊

Sometimes I am just on the brink of getting violent.

As an adopted black child, I can say that what she’s saying about being a black sheep is quite true! My family does do things I don’t agree with and it feels kinda good to say “so that’s actually kinda rude to say that and I don’t think I’m gonna say that, sorry! (Not sorry)” 😂

Thank you everyone for your advise 😢😢😢

Thought I was hypersensiitive in a normal family until I came across this

Exactly. For the first time in my life I wasn't able to pay rent. I asked my family for help. They told me to sell my car. Keep in mind I was just diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and could barely walk. I'm better now with pain medication. But isn't that crazy harsh with the economy being bad. I'm underemployed that's why I couldn't pay rent.

My parents are always hurt and my siblings also they
use ruf words and sometimes so careing but whenever
my mom hit he forget everything

Thank you sooo much. I love you so much . I was really stuck in toxic pattern cause as I am a teenager financially dependent on my parents.
This video helps me alot.❤

Why didn't i find yr channel sooner 😭

Thank you soo much for making this video Tam. This was all I needed ❤❤❤

can you say for those who are not even supposed to be locked in their room....

love u queen

Thank youuu for your advices❤

Me getting this video recommended right when I've had a cry about how my mum isn't there for me and my dad outright acknowledged it instead of defending her and telling me I need to sort my life out myself because I cannot rely on her? Must be a sign

2 years left and then i’m free

we can do it guys we can change and heal dont worry ur not alone just dont put ur energy u will success and heal for you and ur future child love you all💋