5 worst money habits that I've hadSoviet & post-Soviet heritage

Thanks for sharing your honest insights on such a sensitive topic 🙏 it’s been an opportunity to pause and raise awareness on how my background shaped my spending habits ❤

Your Russian word reminds me of the saying, "there's no such thing as a free lunch" as either someone else has paid for it, or you are paying for it with your time and attention.
I think for me the hardest thing is when I am faced with a multi-buy offer, such as "three for the price of two" or whatever, when I actually just want one thing. Deciding whether to take the offer or not I find difficult for two reasons: first, do I want to spend the extra money now, and second, have I got a space where the extra things can be stored until I need them?

спасибо!

Very interesting video. It opened up an evaluation of my own relationship with money/spending. Thanks!

I grew up in comfortable circumstances where my parents never talked to me about money. I wasn't someone who wanted all the latest things, but if I needed something, I could get it. This situation kept me oblivious to what things actually cost, and also to the fundamental idea that working a job was actually a way to exchange my time and freedom for goods. I didn't make that connection until I was in college and then wondered why my small wages from part-time jobs weren't enough to get me everything I had been used to having! I finally learned about store brands and saving and budgeting after I got married. Fortunately, my husband was very good at being frugal and we never went without something we really needed. Now I almost feel like I'm overly frugal just from long years of practice. And yet I'm constantly enticed by advertising and wanting to rush to buy something without really thinking it through. Maybe this will always be my struggle because even today I have a difficult time understanding what things really cost in terms of how much of my life I have to trade for that buying power. Thanks so much for your insights, Ana!

Hummm, very interesting…and challenging! Thanks Ana.

I was brought up with my mother’s saying: Save some, spend some. My father didn’t make much money at all. I was brought up in the 1950’s and 1960’s when cash was the only method of payment. My mom would get my father’s paycheck and divide the money into envelopes: rent, food, gas for the car, etc. Never saw one for entertainment but I did see she would always put som cash in an envelope for savings and she managed to get to the bank during that month. I can’t say I am frugal, but I work on the premise that savings in the bank is not there and only depend and consider the monthly income as what I work with for my expenditures and bills. That keeps me in line and I never overbuy(except maybe purchases for family members at holiday time and I wouldn’t even consider that overbuying, maybe spending more for quality items.)

I have heard of the hyperinflation Where as soon as you get it you should spend it because a couple hours later it will be worth as much or maybe half or less. But I had not heard of this before a few months ago. So that's another reason why money might burn a hole in your pocket as they say in the US. Although I think the origin is different in the US and also I haven't experienced that.
My experience is my parents experience. The Great depression in the 1930s when my parents were kids and teenagers. And my mother came from a big family. So everyone was very very frugal. The only thing that seemed to be affordable was to go to the movies on Saturday. This is not something that I do. Movies are expensive and I don't like to watch things in the dark. I can watch things with the lights on. Unless the director is stupid. So my parents didn't have money and when we were growing up we didn't have much money because it cost a lot to live where we did. And when I left home my job didn't pay a lot and when I got married my husband's job didn't pay a lot and I didn't have one cuz I was sick. And there were a couple of brief periods where I could afford both a place to live and a car. Maybe 3 or 4 years? But then I had to move and when I lived with my mother again my not high paying job was good but that was only like 3 years and then she died and I was poor again. But I still had a job. And then I got laid off. And then there were like 15 years were sometimes I had temp jobs and sometimes I had no job. And now I'm retired and I still don't have money but I do have a little bit. Something tells me all of it is going to go for medical things because this is the US. So basically I've been frugal forever and ever and ever. And I've only gotten through a couple minutes of your video. Maybe less. My brother says I have to stop being so frugal but there is no way to be able to figure out what my expenses are going to be, food, medicine, doctors... Especially the medical stuff. No one will tell you in advance and that's new. Okay it's new for me. When I had insurance it was an HMO. Now it'll be 20% of some amount that they will not tell you. So I still can't spend very much money. My brother doesn't understand this at all. But one time he got a boil in his back. And with no insurance it cost him $1,100. That's insane!

I don't have number three. I never overworked. But sometimes I feel like I am being lazy and people are mad at me and I feel guilty. I don't think that anyone in my family ever overworked on purpose. My brother works sporadically so when he has work he works until he is sick and then... My roommate has a normal job and so did my parents. When I was a kid my mother stayed home and took care of us and my father had two jobs.
But I know that there are cultures that are different from yours where people overwork. It seems to be a thing in Japan and I hear it's a thing in the US. People have vacation sometimes and they don't take it. But there are other people who barely have any vacation or one job I had 5 days of vacation and it never got any larger and there were no sick days. Florida is like that. Massachusetts is more balanced. But I don't know, I'm sure there are people who over work in Massachusetts. It doesn't make any sense to me. If I had vacation I would take it. But with the way your country worked, I understand. And I even understand the... What Americans would call maybe five finger discount? Maybe it's a different thing. But I have read about it in books. People getting a subsidy to live and then they get a job and then their relatives yell at them - why are you working? Why are you paying for this when you don't have to? I have seen it at least in a book. Yes it was Russian people from USSR times.

All of this is very interesting and the video was very interesting and also, it should be added that these things can have an impact on marriage. I think they surely had an impact on mine. I was trying hard to save money in the bank and my husband was just taking it out. I gave up and I put it on the credit card because I was so fed up with it and then I gave him all the finances and in one year we went from $600 in the hole to $6,000 in the hole. That did not help our relationship. When he divorced me there was also bankruptcy. I try not to spend money I don't have... It doesn't always work. But I try. I had a budget from the time I had my very first job and okay I was 19 so that's older than most people. But when my mother was 70 I had to teach her how to have a budget. With my husband and my mother I had to use envelopes. This much money is for this. This much money is for that. For me I used a spreadsheet. Even before I had a computer I would write it on lined paper with columns. It was exciting to get a computer. It cost more than our car. But it turned out to be an investment because in a couple years I would need to know how to use one. And actually how to use one better than the other people who were available. That worked for a while.
I have noticed in Florida that when we have food that is not in the refrigerator, it gets bugs. This was never a problem I had in Boston. It makes me sad.

Thank you for another incredible video. You definitely have a gift for seeing the depth (control) of something so common (money).

I am learning how money is such an abstract thing. It’s like time. The more you have, the more you need. The more you waste, the more you regret. Maybe not everyone feels this way, but it’s becoming clearer to me as I mature.

Oh and I see maybe from a comment the concept of keeping up with the Joneses. They call it that here. I really don't have that. I really do like to go shopping and I like pretty things but I don't need to compare myself with people. The only thing I found that makes me upset about being poor is that my friend has family photographs that go back multiple generations. And my family doesn't have that because we wouldn't have been able to afford a camera or film. Other families in my town probably had a video camera. I forget what they were called in the '60s. We had an instant camera - a still camera - and a reel to real tape recorder. We couldn't afford those other things. One time my father said "Maybe if you weren't sick all the time we would be able to have some money around here.!" Actually he didn't say it, He screamed it. But I don't know. Maybe he would still be frugal. My mother would spoil us if my father didn't have control of the money. And emotionally, those things were also true. Spending love versus yelling or possibly properly disciplining. There was a little bit of both on one side and on the other side there was more love. But nobody really came out and said I love you. One time my mother told me that I was my aunt's favorite niece and I started to cry because that was her saying that my aunt loved me. It wasn't that my mother didn't love me but she didn't say it. So that was just a rare thing. And it made me really emotional and it's still doing it right this very second Just thinking about it.

Windfall might be a good alternative word in English - I really enjoy your content.

I grew up in the U.S. My parents were always frugal. My mom stayed at home while my dad worked, as a mechanic. Both were young adults during WW2, when things were scarce. My mom always tracked the money. Entertainment was simple, like a picnic in the park or beach. There weren’t vacations, or large purchases. Shopping took place at the 5 and dime, when we might get crayons or construction paper. Books came from the library. A few toys at Christmas. I tend to spend little on myself. I know that the joy of buying something is quickly and greatly diminished once I’ve spent my money. I prefer to have money in the bank for a sense of security and freedom. Where I like to spend money is on experiences and treating others or rewarding someone’s work. I like being able to not be concerned about the price of food. This is something new since being widowed. I no longer feel as if I have to chase prices, because I will have to account for my spending. This was just a feeling because I felt I needed to respect the labor we had put into our finances and our joint goals. Now, regretfully looking back I think we should have been more balanced between security and spending on experiences. I feel very sad that my husband never really enjoyed the fruits of our labor. Nose to the grind stone and penny pinching are values that should be reserved for truly extreme and short term situations, like paying off consumer debt, saving a down payment, or an economic depression, to name a few. I’m grateful that I’m past wanting luxury goods or acquiring something just because it is free.

The misery of freebies...I got a voucher to a shop, a fast fashion brand, that I don't particularly like...but it's a 'free' money...

3 months later (and 3 returns!!!) I am still scrolling through the website in search of a 'good deal'...I haven't realised this is going to be such a curse for me!

However, what I also noticed is that I stopped compromising. I will not wear slightly uncomfortable shoes/ clothes...I just refuse to do it anymore.

Have a lovely week my dear Ana!

Limit your financial accessibility in return gain financial freedom and control

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Great video Ana. People always hesitate to talk about money but it’s critical for people to learn. I find it sad that your family lived in fear of money being taken from them. My parents had their own business and made us start working when we were young so that we could learn the value of the dollar, how to save, and how to budget. My parents started with little but became very comfortable with time. I was fortunately smart enough to recognize the education my parents gave me when I was young. Even though the work was hard, I thanked my dad when I was still a teen.

I am a Senior now, I keep some in chking, some in savings, mostly cash, I have come to understand the cash is a safety net of sorts, Cash offers safety nets if ATMs go down, Debit Cards lost, bent, Banks down, and if Election goes poorly and a Dictator is put in office, having cash can get me on a Plane out.

Thank you Ana, much appreciated.

Great video Ana! I hope you have a wonderful week!

Thank you for sharing your personal and family stories in such a vulnerable way. What you said really resonated with me. You’ve given me a lot to think about- I love your videos because I find I mull them over for days afterwards and really think about the topics you raise. Thank you!

Thought provoking observations. Thank you.

A wonderful and insightful video, dear Ana! Deep and intelligent. ~ I can understand.

Eventhough I live in a rich country (Switzerland), I have been financially poor for most of my life. My immigrant parents grew up during the second world war (F + D), so they both were no wasters, worked hard and lived frugally. I seem to have inherited the existential angst so I also like to stock up just to calm my mind. But I also find it sensible, it has helped me in times of crisis and during the lock downs. This way I had enough capacity to help my parents. If I would have had to worry about me first it would have caused me even more stress. ~ To learn to trust in the flow of life, to feel safe in this world and in this life, to learn that I can help myself and will get help when I need it, is not easy. For me personally my faith has helped me greatly, trusting in God, this wonderful Creator, who loves and cares about me, this brought/brings healing and peace. I still struggle from time to time but then I always go to prayer and it calms me immediately. ~ You're such a beautiful soul, Ana. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us. 🌸Blessings for you and Brian! ~ Claudia

Настя, привет! Узнала себя во всем) Особенно про халяву😂
Про супер экономность поняла, что мне сейчас важнее комфорт среди прочего. Поэтому могу потратить на 40% больше за билет, но при этом будет чисто, и время более подходящее. Но все равно вначале часто внутренний протест из серии, что я деньги лишние зря трачу.
И ещё, например, умом понимаю, что такси комфорт намного лучше, никогда после не остаётся негатива. Но при этом не могу ещё свое сознание так расширить, чтобы его вместо эконома заказывать.

Dear Ana, thank you for your honesty. I could identify with a lot of these habits myself, perhaps because I come from Balkans, ehich I think has a very similar mentality to ex Soviet Union countries. The one I am trying to work on now is the habit of spending more the more I earn. I think that it can be caused by me subconsiously thinking that I don't actualy deserve the kind of money I earn. The other problem is scarcity mindset - my family was also financially struggling while I was growing up so there is a part of me that thinks now that I can buy all these expensive stuff, I am finally worth, noone has to know about my background.. I am aware that is awful and I am not in any way ashamed of my family, I know they always did their best. It is just tbat some beliefs are so deeply entrenched at subconcious level that it can take a lot of time to realise what is going on and then try to change that..
I wish you all the best on your journey ❤

One thing really rang true to me personally. I think I may have a fear of having money and not knowing what to do with it. In spending it, I relieve myself of the pressure of having to make a decision about it in the future. Interesting. I never thought of it before but as soon as you said it, I felt fear in my heart. This is something I have to overcome. Thank you. I have overstocked too in the past but now it's only a few non-perishable items like toilet paper that I keep stocked. I am learning. I have experienced the throwing out because something got bad when it got too old. We live and we learn but I am learning this very late in life.

I am from Estonia. I know what you are talking about.

Another great video, with profound thoughts and inspirations. Thank you, Ana ♥

This one was so relatable. I grew up in poverty, and I had a lot of trauma around money and scarcity. In my younger years I didn't have enough money even for healthy food, and I simply did not buy anything no matter how much I needed it. This carried over into times when I did have enough to meet my basic needs, but buying anything that was not essential gave me intense anxiety. My partner had an opposite financial strategy, they had the money burning a hole in your pocket attitude. 😂Over the years we have balanced each other out in a very positive way. They've become more considerate in their spending habits, and I've learned how to spend money without having a panic attack. I still have some scarcity issues and I'm especially prone to stocking up on food. Now I focus on buying few but high quality items, however now I worry that people will judge me for having "fancy" things when I am poor. There's a lot to work through! It's a lifelong process I think. I try to have self compassion, money is just a tool as you say. It's not a moral failing to not be perfect in your spending. I just do the best that I can. ❤

Thank you, Ana.

I relate. I grew up in devere poverty. My mom did not have the money to stock our pantry. It was always bare. It drove me to work so hard to get out of poverty. I funded my entire 6 years of university myself, didnt geta penny from my mom because she couldn't afford it. I do have ladting damage from growing up in scarcity. Great video

Dear Ana i can understand your experiences. Thanks for being so open & honest with us & i hope you achieve financial stability - i never wanted to be rich as that has its own set of anxities !!! I always tell my children live within your means & dont squander your earnings on materialistic trends. Have a lovely week ❤

This is worse than poverty this is injustice and cruelty thats why I will never say that live was good during communism. Not talking about supressing inteligence and even killing intelligent people in order to prefer working class. Sorry I had to say it.🥺 because my family also lived some of this.

In my opinion, both personal character and life experience a/o background make a huge impact on us. Neither my nor my husband's family were rich, they all had to budget and take care of their finances. They were never really poor but they couldn't just buy whatever they wanted, things had to be saved for. I see very clearly how my parents and I myself behave as a result of our pasts, and the same with my in-laws and husband.
I was not taught how to deal with money, my dad's attitude was if he got a deal, he'd "saved" money, and his car habit meant that he spent a lot of time managing his money, though debt never became a problem, luckily. My reaction to that is to behave in an opposite manner. My mom was never interested in money, frequently not noticing "a few zeros" here or there...but I wasn't like that, either! 
In my 20s and responsible for earning my living and a young child, I was interested in money and budgeting but not very good at it, it did burn a hole in my pocket. Fortunately my husband was able to catch my fall before things got too bad and began to teach me sense. Later, in my 30s, I became interested in voluntary simplicity and frugality and my eyes were opened to the connection between money and time (good old Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin!) and since then I have been a lot more responsible about money. Fortunately for my family and my marriage!
My mom has also turned out to be very astute in managing her money since she divorced, which really surprised me, but then her parents were super good with money so I guess something stuck! They were also a good role model for me, I realised later, very content with what they had. We are not interested in status and that appears to mark us out from our peers, who often think we're a bit odd for not driving "nice" cars or having big TVs (or a TV at all!), not interested in brands or designer etc. etc. but we prefer to spend our money on family, experiences, our historic cottage and sailing for a few weeks a year instead - especially when we retire in a couple of years.

So many echoes sounding within me now. The belief that I am lazy (from my childhood, we worked very hard, my first job was at age 12 working in farm fields) came up hard against my reality as I became more and more disabled physically. I then had a long cycle of overworking in the ways left to me (handwork, designing, writing) and it transformed what was enjoyable into tedious, harmful actions. (my hands also became disabled from repetitive motions) Finding balance is so precious. I also fight with buying too many things for a false sense of security. Thank you for this video, much food for thought.

We were very poor. I was also a teenage runaway and was happy to get a job in a sweatshop. My mother was a depression baby in a single mom household, so thought I was lazy for reading. I started working at 14 and by the time I was 20 I was working two full time jobs. I did not make money; I was supporting other people. I learned the hard way that people expected me to work while they did not because I was capable of it and I was not pretty. But I don't mind working, and now at 65, I have a little bit of spending money although I still support my family. But what you say about the price you pay when there is no money is extremely important. People do not realize that often money is much better for the psychology than all the manipulation and strangeness that happens when it is absent. In a sense, money makes us civilized. People hate money because it represents power to them, and is easily abused. But other things are also easily abused, it depends totally on the person, not the thing exchanged. I knew people who came up with so many reasons why they should not have to work and earn money, but it ate them up eventually. People have to realize that money is not a thing, it is not wealth. It is merely an instrument of exchange. Both my parents were hoarders and it hurt them. You have to find a nice space where you have enough and don't get crazy either way.

Dear Ana, I love your videos so much! I' ve "burned my pocket" very in my past as a Teenager and as a young adult and sometimes later. I think because of exactly the reasons you mentioned.....and then phases with extreme frugality.....solution is to be found somewhere in the middle. I' still searching! In this consumerist society its very difficult to find calmness and be happy and thankful with what you have. In my family I learned that spending means happiness. So I did it myself, stupid! That came from my upbringing! But now I find out it's not true! You have given me a few tips in your videos what to do to resist buying. Be creative! Weiter, draw, create, enjoy nature!
Where I can find more of your contest, Ana?
Greetings from Germany

Sonia

Wow,Ana,this was a very powerful video.The connection between money and our sense of self esteem runs so deep,doesn't it,that it can be difficult to parse out what is what.
I can't even write a coherent comment,you have brought up so much to think about here.
I did realize something important while wondering why everything you said in this video disturbed me so much (not in a totally bad way) that I literally couldn't formulate a comment.I won't share it because it's about extreme child exploitation (of me),but thank you for helping me to make the connection in a way that I can consciously process between what was done to me and what I now do to myself,in terms of constantly feeling as if I simply don't deserve prosperity.
Which is subconscious,like you said,and is like an undertow that is constantly sucking me down,although consciously and rationally,I have always wanted financial well being.
I didn't grow up in poverty,but was used as a child to make money for adults.All I wanted from the age of four was to get out of there and get away from them.I convinced my grandfather to open a savings account for me when I was five and every single bit of money I managed to keep for myself went into that savings account.I was able to be disciplined- I never bought fripparies with that money because my eventual escape was more important than some momentary indulgence.
I don't have a problem with over spending or under spending now that I'm an adult.I also have my moon in Taurus,which is a blessing,because it gives me emotional stability.I can be frugal and I can also spend for pleasure without going to extremes either way.
I ran away from home as a teenager with the funds from my savings account.A one way plane ticket to London.I ended up in Paris.I landed on my feet and was actually very fortunate,considering everything that could have gone wrong...but it's always been like I've been living on the periphery of my own existence.And the crux of that is feeling unworthy of abundance.
I am taking steps now to address that,but like you said,it is hard to pinpoint subconscious self undoing or self disrespect or I suppose,self abnegation.
Ancestral trauma absolutely has much to do with it.Especially when our ancestors had to suck up their suffering instead of pause to process it; and to continue their lives as best they could. Which resulted in the issues being passed to the next generation.
Anyway,thank you again for another fascinating and thought provoking video.
You are awesome ❤

My family came to the USA from Czechoslovakia when I was 14. I soon realized that I knew nothing about money-and that my parents didn’t either. The frugality, the overstocking, I struggle with it even decades later. I am glad that my kids had basic financial education in high school, and I tried hard not to pass my bad habits on.

Thought provoking Ana, thank you.

Thank you 😊

Not related to the video but you are aging in reverse or maybe even not at all. You look so healthy! Happy to see you thriving.

I grew up in Eastern Europe, my parents were very broke in the early 2000's. In result, I grew up an extreme cheapskate, and sometimes I'm so embarrassed of myself, only now learning to part with my hard earned money.

“I haven’t figured things out yet. I’m just in the process.” ❤ This is how we should all approach life and the many challenges it poses. We don’t need to be perfect. We just need to be aware of ourselves and others, so that we can adjust the way we are living and impacting others + the world. I love the gentle way you practice and encourage being mindful of our ability and responsibility to have self awareness and evaluate what is working vs. what is not working in all aspects of life. ❤

I sometimes think twice about buying these eye products (for hidration and to fight inflamation) that I need, as they are 20-25 euro each, which is a lot for me, plus I have to discard them after a month (as it usually happens with eye care products). I completrly empathised with you when you were talking about the incident at the pharmacy. This was a great, emotional video, thank you for creating it, Ana. I love your channel, I have watched it for years but it's only my first time leaving a comment. I will make sure to engage more from now on ❤ Maria from Barcelona

Thanks - very thought provoking.

I thougt my parents were wealthy when I was a child...I didn't lack anything and I didn't want much. Now I realise that my parents were not wealthy, they were frugal and my father worked very hard and often worked overtime to support us and beside his job he had alittle land where he grew food and raised a pig that he would butcher come winter. I think I was wealthy than having no burdens. But my parents did also give me an other inheritence and that is due to them living through WW2 and that is that I always think I have to be prepared for bad things to happen...I feel the need to buy stuff, just in case...preparing a bit for lean times is not a problem but I do have to control it...luckely I"ve already learned a lot and I'm not a hoarder 😊

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Wow, my great grandfather was also considered a kulak and sent to a work camp. I am always so fascinated by any discussion related to 20th century russian history and how it shaped contemporary culture.