The "Mother Wound" and Your Perpetual Unhappiness. Overcome Your Childhood Trauma

This is the next stage in human evolution; the awareness of toxic femininity. It has been suppressed since the dawn of time. But is coming very soon. It will change everything

Why don’t I remember ever being hugged or cuddled by my mother? I know she made me responsible for her feelings and the parent to her marriage problems - these are my earliest memories. My mother saw me as an extension of her. If I ever talk about myself to my mother she can’t focus on me and what I’ve said. Instead she responds in relation to herself.

I don’t find the early comments of this video to be true at all. My father was the lesser of two evils. It is a huge generalization to say that people don’t want to villainize mothers.

Wow. Thank you guys so much. Ross, you are truly amazing. Sadly, I grew up without my dad. And although I did have a few clear resentments about some things my mom did during my childhood (one of the biggest being keeping my dad from seeing me), generally I have ALWAYS viewed her in very high esteem. To the point where I’ve been scratching my head for years wondering how I developed codependency. After watching this video I now know that she perpetually chose my narcissistic, bipolar, and verbally abusive stepfather over me. I felt she didn’t protect me from him enough. Even the fact that she could see how much I hated him and how unhappy I was, and not leave him, was damaging and painful in itself. I’m gonna schedule therapy asap. Thank you guys so much.

How can one forster and nurture self-appreciation in oneself and in all others? Consult Dr Ross Rosenberg?

Having come across this video yet another lightbulb moment,a huge one.Thank you for this

I know this video is 5 years old, but I just came here to say that Rick's working definition of the mother wound is one of the best I've ever heard and it is spot on.

Yes at one point my mother had my convinced we were the same person and one body. She passed away 2 months ago. She always kept tabs on me and always gave me the warnings of what could happen. I had these so called warnings for the last 57 years. No wander I was so depressed. I haven't had a false warning in two months and feel better already. My fears are slowly leaving me.

Amazing content. So helpful to me to better understand people in my circle.

"They glorify their codependent mother."
Spot on. It's a fantasy.

My mother was cruel and abusive
Dad was absent
(the invisible man)

I believe that I was a toxic mother … not as bad as my own mother was
I absolutely adored them and still do …
But drowning in the despair of Depression (diagnosed now as CPTSD & Bipolar)
And taking the side of my narc husband and also the cult we were in!
One son cut me off and hasn’t spoken to me for years (I understand tho it hurts)
He is in another group/cult run by his father!
My other son keeps in (spasmodic) touch
And has made a great life, family and career despite the obstacles.
A beautiful man, partner and father who I’m so proud of

I know I hurt them
I’m ashamed and devastated that I hurt them
I didn’t know then what I know now
I’m 60
And would make a much better new mum than when I was 21
Too late!!!

"The unconscious has no sense of time." 😮 The unhappy child inside believes the trauma is current. Huh.

Wow you are just lounging around there. You look like your taking a nap.

My mu lost her mum aged14 i loved my son it went bad .awomen its not just mothers its women yoo now my sonwounded i am i told my mum in end i didnt beleive anything shesaid its over .i was ok til outsiders did it bullying must be dealt with in class room i now say its entirely bullied fauly teachers un i servant refusniks who dont listen wicked teachers female teachrers male.its not familyall time its "comunity" devil teachers. Pier groups .

THAT POEM OH MY GOD😭😭😭😭 EXACTLY WOW!

When parental abuse is huge, even when you identify and acknowledge it, talking about it over and over (in therapy) can re-traumatize you.

Scribed, . . . I’m finding this Very Interesting,
🦉 So Grateful you have put this out for Anyone,
& Hopefully many people can start
The healing-process here❣️
It’s Never to late for healing or to old for healing!

Sending...🌬Much Peace, Love, Joy with a whole 🌹lot of Laughter in Life❣️🕊

Just interrupting each other to talk about yourselves and selling your consulting. Man

You are not qualified in anything. Just your own experience your father would not talk about it you said. Yet you don’t think he had any responsibility

My mother never hugged me and told me I was perfect and lovable... That would have been nice.

This is the conversation I've been looking for, now that its become clear juat how both my parents abandoned me and negkected me emotionally and the subsequent trauma and anxiety i developed growing up in a dysfunctional home, i am cureeyin the rocess of re-evaluating all my relationships and how i show up in them.

I watched a video of a “prophet” casting a “demon” out of a very young girl. When the “prophet” asked her mom and sister what was wrong with her, they described her as “too sensitive” - instant red flag. Mom and sister are definitely bullying that poor girl and making her doubt her own reality. Crazy making.

I left home at 15 and forced to look after me oddly I had to be my own parent I really had no one .. makes sense a lot , odd how this video came up, at this time 🎉

Hi, What’a the name of the end song?

I’m here in 2024 and this is a great conversation! Very helpful

This is my ex in a nutshell. Wow. This makes me feel validated about breaking up since he hasn’t dealt with any of his childhood

what is an SLD??

I was the fourth daughter with sisters who were 4, 5, and 6 years older than me. I was “the golden” daughter. I don’t know I will ever get over watching her abuse my sisters. I truly believe my mother was a sociopath and possibly psychopathic.

Both parents. miserable failures as parents. Narcissistic mother. Codepenant enabler father. I had no one.

So its OK to say that both parents neglected me and actually abused me emotionally 🥹

Can a mother wound make a man feminine and extremely hard hateful to his wife ..😊

DAMN!!! THIS IS SOOOOOO GOOD! ❤❤❤❤

I was literally mother to my step mother, who was emotionally immature, constantly unhappy and discontented. I had to look out to keep her happy, listen to her unending complaints and awes, giving her advice etc in addition to the chores and school works. I passed the entrance exam to the prestigious college to make her happy, but didn't find the college life fulfilling at all. I became a teacher but internally I was as empty as a crab shell, not knowing who was. Now after spending my life in church for over twenty years I am recognizing that the same things were happening to me...I have lived my life to serve God, to help church, to worship something outside whom i really don't know ....I want to recover. As I talk with my step mom she is as dry as whale meat we used to chew in Japan. I don't want to do anything to do with her except calling her to exchange occasional pleasantly. The day to please others , either it be the church, God, or my family losing my identity, should be done with. Watching your clips helps me. My search for selfhood just started

Why are some of us men like this ? So broken and pathetic maybe because of this person who hurt us soo long ago. I’m 46 and I’m a mess . My wife moved out , I have these fits of rage over a pin 🧷 dropped. I now live alone in an apartment. I see my daughter on weekends and I don’t even get to talk to my ex. But for some weird reason I still call my mom every day sometimes few times a day but what’s more weird is I’m just kinda mean to her the entire time.

There has only been one other time in my history where a therapist has said something and it’s felt like someone poked a deep nerve in me. This conversation is very painful to accept

This is a revelation... "My mom and I are separate people. I am not responsible for her feelings, for what happened to her.... 😮

Why does this evil seem impossible to heal

"Grief work is hard..." fullstop. For no one is it easy. It's brutal. It isn't even allowed in our culture; or at least not in an honest open healthy manner.
Thank You both for all of your good work.
💖🙏💖
Also, yes your poem is brilliant, thank you. Beautiful. It also continues to be paraphrased & expressed in endless ways throughout countless lives.
If only grief & love would stop killing us when it remains unexpressed.

I am totally not perpetual unhappy!

What does SLD Parent mean?

I am highly dysfunctional on several levels in my life. I struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. Both of my parents were traumatized I understand now and both repeated the cycle and abused alcohol. Only now I am understanding that I am traumatized and the other problems are just symptoms of that dysfunctional family system. I am 42 now, maybe there is still hope. I too always thought my father was the bad parent, while my mother physically abused us as well I still projected most of the blame on my father. Now I understand she was a SLD parent and was highly manipulative without knowing it. This really helps but I will need to do practical work now to start healing.

I can agree that the SLD parent as you call them has responsibility and effect on the children. HOWEVER I would say that I reached out for assistance and clarity from PROFESSIONALS and many others for decades. NOT ONE identified and supported me in this. On the contrary— I was pushed to remain under the control of the narcissist and to continue to play the parentified child role and much of what I endure with professionals was traumatizing and counterproductive.

To this day I find very little support from anyone— and understand that I am the only person can help myself.

I am also supporting my children in overcoming the damage as best I can.

I lost my mother at the age of 15 from a car accident. It was life shattering and forever impacting. In my forties, I still wish she was here to this day😢

Thank you!

Great poem!

I wash my mom get hit in the face knock down she got pulled to the house by her hair 50 ft away, i thought she was dead and I was wondering who's going to take care of me.
I was 4 years old, i felt guilty all my life but at 55 i had to say goodbye. She ruined all my relationships.

I need some help rick, how did you get over losing that many years of your life, it's very traumatic for me?